“What’s wrong with doing it like that?”
I didn’t know how to answer that. The silence was long.
“I mean, if we both want to.” I sighed and a quiver rushed through my length, which was enclosed in my boxers. “In the extremely rare case.”
She took her time to answer. “Why should we want that?” she asked quietly.
“Because it’s less intimate.”
And most of all because this way, doing it far away, I felt less guilty. Something that instead would happen if I climbed into your bed to bang you every night.
“That would be terrible,” she hissed in an increasingly low voice.
“What?”
“The fact that you don’t want intimacy, James.”
“What the fuck do you know?” I asked, getting angry.
“I don’t know anything, okay, but you always try to make things less special.”
I wasn’t laughing anymore.
“Why do you say that?”
“Because it’s just the opposite for me.”
“I’m listening, White.”
“I don’t like the way that you do things.”
Did June White seriously think I called her so she could insult me?
“Oh, are you saying you don’t want me to call you?”
“I don’t want a call in the middle of the night from someone because they’re trashed and who treats me like one of many and maybe also does it to satisfy their whims. I’m not like that.”
But up until now nobody had complained. I definitely wasn’t changing my habits for an insufferable princess.
“And tell me, who the fuck do you think would call you?” I provoked her without mincing words.
“That’s none of your business. Anyway, anything I do, I know I want to do it with someone who thinks I’m special and vice versa. Not like this.”
An uproar of rage overwhelmed me. What the fuck kind of conversations were these?
“So you’re saying you’re waiting for your knight in shining armor?” I huffed, fed up.
And while you wait, could you keep thinking about me every time that you put your damn hand between your thighs?
“I’m not waiting for my knight in shining armor, you moron!”
“Also because you’d die a virgin, moron,” I teased. She was smiling; I sensed it.
“What do you want, James?” she asked at some point, becoming serious again. I was looking for something from her, but I still didn’t know what it was. I had the impression that she realized it. She realized it the first time she came here to help Jasper with his homework, just like that time when we went to Ethan Austin’s place.
“I don’t know,” I admitted through clenched teeth.
“Maybe, in the end you’re just looking for what you deny yourself in every possible way.” Now she was starting with the bullshit.
