“Well, it seems to me like you do, Jamie,” she taunted, gripping the thick figure hidden in my workout pants firmly.Bang you? After the shitstorm you caused at Poppy’s house, I think you can go fuck yourself.
I tried to take a breather, and meanwhile I pulled back to separate myself from her demanding lips, but I couldn’t deny that her warm hand around my erection was causing a pleasant shiver.
“Where’s Tiff?” I asked cynically.
After all, as inappropriate as my question was, it was legitimate. Taylor and I hadn’t been together since that night when her best friend was there too.
“Why do you always have to do this?” screamed Taylor.
“What did I do to you?” I asked innocently. Other than remind you of the arrogant dick I was. Suddenly, she seemed to not be in the mood anymore. She took her hands off me and put them on her hips.
“Do you really want to know where Tiff is? She’s running around with that loser White!” I heard her explode.
I was still thinking of the titillating memory of that night with Taylor and Tiffany, when she said that last sentence. Adrenaline rushed through my veins. It was a fucking trick my mind played on me, a quick substitution, June instead of Taylor. I closed my eyes and could imagine myself defenseless under her shapely body, my abs tight under her solid thighs and my dick fully inside her. A warm quiver swept over my soul too. I had to get her out of my head; she was William’s girlfriend.
And I wasn’t so naïve as to not know how that insufferable princess got so under my skin. I pushed the envelope too much when I saw her. Not to mention that most times I thought she was insufferable, a know-it-all, and a busybody.
After what happened with Austin, I thought I’d gotten rid of her. But just when I thought she didn’t need someone to protect her, yesterday at her house—that feeling. Her eyes seemed to hide a suppressed scream, a cry for help that she wasn’t was capable of expressing in words.
And what if she hurt herself? How could I protect her from herself?
“Tiffany doesn’t know what she wants anyway,” announced Taylor, interrupting my obsessive thoughts.
“It seems to me that she knows perfectly well what she wants.”
I walked up to the closet to get some clean clothes as Taylor looked at me from head to toe.
“No, she doesn’t, because one day she wants ice cream, and the next she wants cake. It’s confusing.”
“She wants both, I don’t think it’s that hard to understand.” I thought about Taylor’s more-than-obvious metaphor.
“You get why you’re like her, right?”
I didn’t dignify that with an answer. I wasn’t interested in what Taylor thought of me.
“So why’d you come here? What’d you wanna ask me?” I said, leaning against my desk.
“Since we haven’t seen each other in a while, I wanted to ask how you were. But given what you’re doing, I’d say not very well.”
“I was hitting the punching bag,” I retorted, annoyed.
When she didn’t get what she want, Taylor was the classic girl who dug her heels in. Her dad had gotten her used to having everything she wanted when she wanted it.
“No, I was talking about that crap you were watching,” she said, pointing at my computer.
I could’ve pretended I didn’t know what Taylor was talking about, but I actually knew it all too well. Sex and violence.
This was what my life was reduced to. A half hour of fun to avoid reality. My sexual identity fluctuated in cycles and allowed me to explore territories that my friends didn’t seem interested in. Sometimes I was the one who got on my knees in front of the guys in the school bathrooms; other times they were the ones who overpowered me. My gaze drifted along Taylor’s tapered body, and I thought about all the girls who had been under my hands. It wasn’t just a matter of beauty standards, but of character. I liked them strong and decisive—the girls who were capable of pulling my hair and telling me what they wanted from me; giving them the freedom to express themselves and use me until it made them feel good made me feel satisfied.
Even though, to be honest, bending them over in the most indelicate way possible, was my specialty. Just to remind them that they could play with me as much as they wanted but I was the one who held the reins.
“How was the exhibit yesterday?” asked Taylor.
“Meh. Fine.”
Except that I was tangled in the mess called June White. I’d let her get in my head. Now I couldn’t get her out.
Taylor threw her long blond hair behind her shoulders as she stared at me suspiciously.
