Audrey cradled his face and ran her thumb along his cheekbone. “You won’t. I know you won’t.”
He leaned forward and pressed his forehead to hers, bracing her neck with one hand while the other dropped between his legs. He carefully rolled the condom over his length before slipping his left arm under her neck and propping them both up on their sides, drawing her close and parting her legs with one of his thighs. They were so thick and wide, even just having one tangled between her legs spread her plenty.
“Like this?” she asked in confusion, though she was glad he was the one positioning her. Her body still felt like Jell-O. “I thought you’d be on top?”
“I did some…research,” Theo murmured, lowering his hand onto her back and tucking her into his chest. “A lot of it, all about how to do this as gently as possible for you. Your first time shouldn’t have to hurt, and I’m going to try my best not to let it. From what I found, beginning in this side position seemed the most gentle.”
“Of course you researched this, you nerd.” She finally had enough air back in her lungs to speak properly and chase it with a laugh, though her voice sounded oddly tattered to her own ears. But she still tried to bite back a smirk all the same. “Is that why you started where you did?”
It was his turn to chew on his bottom lip, but even that couldn’t hide his growing wicked grin. “I would have done that regardless. It’s my favorite thing—and you tasteincredible, by the way.” He pressed his lips to hers, plush and red and swollen from his devotion. When his tongue slipped into her mouth, she tasted for herself: sweet, with an interesting tang she hadn’t been expecting. He pulled away with a crooked smile. “I could feast on you forever. But it turns out that itdoeshelp to start with an orgasm or two to loosen you up for…me.” His smile faded and his expression grew serious. “You tell me if anything hurts or if you want me to stop, and I will. I’ll stop, okay?” There was no room for argument in the look he gave her. “You promise to tell me?”
“Yes. I promise.” Audrey nodded. “I trust you.”
Theo pulled her even closer, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. His eyes never left her own, even when his trembling hand circled gently at her clit before grazing her entrance.
“I love you.” He whispered the words before he kissed her, long and deep, slowing it down and letting their lips meld and fall in sync. Audrey relaxed into his warm embrace, melting into the heat of his skin surrounding her. He ran so hot normally, but now? Now he was an inferno, the heat practically rolling off of him in waves. She was so preoccupied with the feeling of being completely wrapped in Theo’s strong arms in a way she never had been before that she almost didn’t feel the tip of him notch at her entrance.
When he started to ease himself slowly inside, she gasped.
He’d been careful to stretch her with his fingers for a reason, but even two of them couldn’t compare to the girth of the real thing. It didn’t hurt, exactly, but it did pinch. She was still too tight to accommodate him fully, and Audrey closed her eyes and clutched at him, digging her nails into his back with a whimper.
He paused, barely an inch inside.
“Relax for me, sweetheart,” he murmured, stroking her hair gently. His voice was strained.
“Can you talk to me?” she breathed. “I’m still nervous. It might help.”
“Talk about what?” He raised an eyebrow. “What…kind of talk?”
“Anything.” Audrey drew in a deep breath and tried to relax, unclenching her tense leg muscles. He was barely inside and she didn’t want to stop now, not when she was so close to having him completely. “Literally anything. But not dirty talk. I don’t think that’ll help me right now. I’m not used to it.”
“All right. I can try.” He seemed unsure. “At least for a minute. No promises on sustained coherence, though.” Theo rubbed circlesalong her back, doing his best to soothe her while he looked her in the eyes. His were liquid amber and melted chocolate in the soft lamplight of his room. After a moment, he finally seemed to settle on something. “Okay. How about another confession?”
“Another one?”
He nodded. “Yep. I nearly had a panic attack when I first met you.”
“Well, that was obvious.” She twisted her fingers in his damp, curling hair, enjoying its silky feel.
The corner of Theo’s mouth twitched. “No. It wasn’t for the reasons I initially told you. It might have been the only time I’ve ever lied to you—not exactly, but I didn’t tell you the whole truth.”
This was good, talking like this. This was familiar. She relaxed, and he pushed a little deeper into her. He swallowed a grunt and blinked a little too long, but kept talking.
“I told you I was having trouble coming out in public again after my accident, and that was true. Thatwaswhy I was going out to coffee shops. But the way I acted when I saw you?” He shook his head as if to clear it and thrust a little more, closing his eyes with a strained, strangled noise in his throat. “I panicked because…because when you smiled at me as I stepped up to the register, I knew you were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. And I immediately forgot every word I’d ever known related to coffee. Or otherwise.”
He slid even deeper and moaned. Not quite sheathed, but when she breathed in and relaxed, he began to rock his hips, pulling in and out ever so slightly, teasing her, testing her tolerance.
She nodded at him, and he kept going, his voice even more strained than it had been before.
“I’m…glad you didn’t see my house at that point. It was a mess.Iwas a mess,” he ground out between slow, gentle thrusts, dragging his cock along her entrance and pressing in slightly deeper eachtime, stretching her and gradually filling her more and more. “I hadn’t drawn in months, not since I—n-not since before I was in the hospital, but—” He drew in a shaking, gasping breath. “I couldn’t get you out of my head, and it got worse every time I went back to the café. I couldn’t stop seeing your face behind my eyes. Every time I blinked, every time I tried to sleep, it wasyouI saw. It was your face I dreamed of.”
Breathing was difficult. She started to pant. But with every roll of his hips, she matched him, pressing in closer and drawing him in deeper.
“I felt terrible about it. I thought—ohhh, you feel so…sogood, Audrey—I was going crazy. I felt like some creep. Sketches of you were littered everywhere in my house, shakily drawn and horribly composed. I tore them out of my sketchbook and threw them everywhere.” His biceps seized around her, and it was a wonder he could still talk, his voice was so clipped and strained. “They weren’t you, they were awful, but I-I was…uh…shit…I was d-drawing again for the first time when I—ohhh god, Audrey,” Theo groaned, closing his eyes and throwing his head back. “God.”
She moaned, loud and long.
“FUCK.”
