She wanted to feel him against her, inside her, all of him, forever and always, and all the hairs on her neck stood on end when he tilted his head up and pressed his lips softly to hers. His eyes were closed, but his mouth had sought hers automatically, that desperate need for connection innate and instinctive. It was as natural, as easy, as a reflex.
It was as though they’d been crafted for each other, made specifically to slot into the places where there were cracks, each one’s pieces fitting precisely into the grooves of the breaks.
She could feel it now, knew it now, clearly and fully.
When he breathed in, so did she.
When her heart beat, so did his.
Something changed between them beneath the hot water as she held Theo and kept him safe and sound in her arms, safe and sound in her heart, all of him finally bared to all of her. There were no more walls, no more barriers, no more secrets. Neither of them could hide anymore.
Everything deepened in that moment.
When Theo finally calmed enough to unbury his face from her neck, pulling back and looking her in the eyes, he drew in a deep breath and searched her face, tiny droplets tumbling gently from his long lashes onto her cheeks. He cradled her face in his hands, softly smoothing her soaked hair behind her ears. He didn’t say anything—he only looked at her. And the longer he stared into her eyes, the more she felt it:
The moment their souls entwined.
Or perhaps they’d always been that way, and now was only the moment of knowing. She’d been drawn to him the second he walked through the door of the coffeehouse, almost as though he was so large, his gravity couldn’t help but pull her into his orbit.
Or perhaps it was simply that their atoms had always been enmeshed, entangled at the quantum level, drawn inexorably closer until they’d crashed together to form something new, something stronger, their electrons dancing near enough and fast enough to create an unbreakable covalent bond.
It had always been magnetic.
She could feel his heart beat through his chest, thundering in time with her own, their electrostatic pulses synced.
He lit her up like one of his sculptures.
Like one of his stars.
And that light was reflected back in his eyes now when he finally found what he’d been searching for in her own.
“I love you.”
When he uttered the words, her heart nearly stopped.
It was the surest thing he’d ever said to her.
Theo’s right hand cupped her cheek, its tremor nearly perfectly stilled against her skin. “I love you, Audrey,” he said again, his voice stronger, deeper, rumbling in his throat with conviction. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes. I’ve said terrible things, and I’ve left other thingsunsaid, and I regret it. I regret all of it. But I don’t ever want to regret anything with you.
“I could die at any second. I almost did once, and for all I know, I could have an aneurysm right now. And if I went to my grave without telling you how I feel, I’d be tormented with regret and despair for eternity in whatever awaits us when we’re gone.”
He rolled his jaw, pressing his lips together, and his eyes softened as he looked at her. His brows were still furrowed slightly, as if he couldn’t help but be concerned about what he was saying right now, but couldn’t stop himself regardless.
“The last thing I ever said to my dad was awful—and then I had to watch him die, maybe evenbecauseof it. I’ve been blaming myself for it ever since. I can’t even begin to convey to you how much pain I’ve felt—how much Istillfeel, in my body, my heart, my mind. My soul maybe, if there is such a thing.” He shook his head. “I was thinking of ending it before we met, just to make the ache go away. Everywhere, everything, every part of me hurt so much, I didn’t think I’d ever feel anything but that pain. And part of me thought I deserved it. There’s still a darker part of me that thinks that.
“But you? You’ve been such a light in that darkness for me. You reminded me that life can be good. That it can be sweet. That Icanstill smile.” The corners of his lips tilted up at her now, hopeful and soft. “Knowing you now makes me proud that I kept going—that I’m still here, that I’m still trying. You make me want to get better. I’m not even sure I deserve you, but you make me want tobebetter, because you do deserve someone whole. And I want that someone to be me.” His fingers curled around her waist and around the back of her neck. “I’m not whole right now, but I want to be.”
She was glad he was holding her steady.
She needed him to.
“None of this is how I thought tonight would go, sweetheart, and I’m sorry you had to see it. I’msosorry. It’s not what I had planned.And I wasn’t going to tell you all this. Not today.” He closed his eyes and sighed, his chin falling to his chest in sudden resignation. “You don’t have to say anything back. I know it might be too soon, but you might as well know how I feel. I owe you that much, especially since I already know it. And I don’t want to regret not saying it, even if you don’t feel the same way. I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t. Not now. Not after everything.”
Theo drew in a deep breath. And when he let it out, it shook, but this time in relief—as though a massive weight had been lifted from his broad chest.
They sat there together, the only sound the hissing water of the shower drumming down around them, the weight of his words still echoing against the tile.
Then he blinked.
