It was Audrey’s turn to grow quiet. She could practically feel the grief still lingering heavy and deep in Theo’s chest, and he didn’t say anything else. Instead, he only tightened his arm around hershoulders and drained his remaining hot chocolate before closing his eyes and resting his head on top of hers.
They sat in the weighted quiet, simply listening to the rain and the music together until Theo finally broke their silence. He leaned forward and set his mug down on the coffee table before running his hand through her still-damp hair. “It’s getting kind of late, and I checked the weather earlier. It doesn’t look like the storm’s going to let up until tomorrow.” He paused and breathed in and out a few times, clearly trying to steel himself for something. “Would you…” He drew in another deep breath. “Would you stay here tonight with me? Please?”
Audrey’s own breath suddenly caught in her throat.
When she didn’t say anything, panic flashed across Theo’s face. “I mean, I can take you home if you’re not comfortable, I don’t mind. It’s just that—well, it’s cold outside, and the rain’s really coming down. I’ll call us a cab and go with you to make sure you get there safely, but I’d feel better if you…stayed. With me.”
She swallowed and wrapped her fingers around her mug to contemplate the remaining lukewarm chocolate, searching for how to answer him. This wasn’t how she’d been expecting tonight to go.
“Oh shit,” Theo breathed, covering his face with his massive palm again. “I’ve made a mistake, haven’t I? I’ve fucked something up. I’ve made you uncomfortable. I’m so sorry.”
“No, Theo. No.” Audrey shook her head quickly and shifted to face him fully. “No, you didn’t.”
“I know I did. What was it?”
“Nothing. It really wasn’t anything.”
“I pushed you on the boyfriend thing, didn’t I?”
“No, I wanted you to. I—”
“Then I shouldn’t have asked you to stay. Was that it?” He looked at her, frantic and worried. “Or, uh…it’s my place, isn’t it? It’s too big? I didn’t tell you about it. I didn’t warn you, and it’s—” Heran a trembling hand through his thick hair. “Fuck, look, I know it’s a lot, but—I-I mean, I wasn’t going to bring you here so soon, I just didn’t want you to get cold and sick and it was so much farther to your place, and there weren’t any cabs around, and—”
“Your house is amazing!” She put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s beautiful and warm, and I really like it! If anything, I’m embarrassed by how small and shittymyplace is in comparison! I practically live in a dumpster!”
Considering how much of her furniture she’d actually found in or next to one of those, it was fairly true.
“No, don’t say that! That’s not the reaction I wanted you to have!” He sat up all the way and splayed his hands out, pleading. “I really liked your apartment! It was cozy and comfortable and it looked like you, you shouldn’t be at all embarrassed by it. It wasn’t shitty!”
It was. It was small and shabby and shitty, just like she was. But he was so earnest, it only made her more flustered, and her cheeks burned. This was so embarrassing.
“What? What is it?!” Theo cried. He was fully distraught now.
“It’s—um. Well, it’s—”
“If it’s not my place, and it’s not me, then what is it?”
“I haven’t done this before!” Audrey screwed her eyes shut and gripped her mug so hard she thought she might crack the thick porcelain.
Theo shut his wide mouth quickly.
It felt like an eternity before either of them spoke again.
“You haven’t done…what before, exactly?”
She took a deep breath and opened her eyes.
Theo was staring at her blankly, still obviously at a loss. “Sit on a couch in front of the fire? Is that it?” He chewed on his bottom lip. “Well, I guess you probably don’t have fireplaces in Tampa,” he muttered. “I wouldn’t know, though. I’ve never been to Florida.”
“No, Theo.” Audrey shook her head. “I’ve never worn a boyfriend’s clothes while sitting on his couch, alone with him in his home.” Her face burned even hotter than before. “I’ve never…stayed over. With a man. Anywhere. I—” It was really hard to admit this out loud. “I’ve reached the extent of my experience, and I was afraid you’d start to figure that out soon. I don’t know what happens next if I…stay here. With you.”
“Oh?” His eyes widened and he finally seemed to understand. That only made her even more embarrassed. “Oh.Uh…Audrey, did you think I was angling for sex or something?” He tilted his head at her and raised both of his eyebrows. “Because for the record, I wasn’t.”
It was her turn to frown. “But this is our third date.”
“No, it’s not—we’ve had way more than that. Right?” He ran a confused hand through his hair. “How are we counting?Arewe counting? I mean, I’ve been coming to see you a lot at the coffee shop, so I was thinking those were dates too, and—”
“They were, but this is the third time we’ve hung out outside of it.” Her frown deepened. “There’sexpectations.”
