The gesture wasn’t lost on her. Her face softened, and he saw himself in her eyes. “You’re still my kid. You’ll always be my baby. No matter what.”
“I know.” The corner of his mouth twitched under his mask. “I’m not asking Audrey tomorrow, I just want it on hand for when I do. I’ll know when the time’s right.” He reached up and pulled off the mask so she could see all of him and read how serious he was. “And I wanted it now in case you and I have another falling out, or in case you get too busy with litigation or something and stop showing up for these sessions. You don’t have a good track record of consistency. Look at how many of my lacrosse games you missed when you told me you’d bethere.” He tilted his head at her and gave her a pointed look. “I was aware, you know. I looked for you in the stands, every time. And you were at court, or at a briefing, every time. I always asked Dad.”
Eleanor winced deeply. She hung her head and sighed. “I know you did. You’re right. I deserve that. I’ll keep taking my licks.” She squeezed his hand back. “But I’m not going to do that anymore, the whole ‘misplaced priorities’ thing. I’m here now, and I’m going to keep coming. And besides, I want to get to know my future daughter-in-law. If she doesn’t have a mother, she will soon enough, because that’s a role I want to fill. And I want to do it well.”
“I’m going to hold you to that. Audrey is the most important thing in my life.” He quirked an eyebrow at her. “Last chance.”
“Oh, I know. I know you’re not fucking around, Theo.” She raised an eyebrow right back, the twin to his own. “You aremyson, after all. And I love you.”
He rolled his lips together. “I love you too, Mom.”
It was true.
It was still there.
It had never left. It had only been buried.
The door opened, and it was time.
And though they had an understanding, it didn’t mean that any of this was going to be easy.
Once he hadthe ring, Theo thought about it every day.
He thought about it when Audrey was curled into his chest, clutching at him and whimpering in her sleep. She had a tendency to cling to him as though she were terrified he might leave her. He never would. It was an impossibility.
He held her as tightly as he could.
He would have opened up his chest again and kept her safe inside his own heart if it were possible.
He thought about it when he made pancakes for her on Sundays, watching the bubbles in the batter rise and pop with the sound of bacon and eggs sizzling next to him while greats like Billie Holiday and Etta James played in the background and Audrey fiddled with his fancy espresso machine, making them entirely too much and too many kinds of coffee in her delight with a new toy.
He thought about it when he watched her study, her nose wrinkled in concentration, some of her chaotic, loose waves making a daring escape from her hair tie and sweeping along the sides of her face.
He thought about it when he tucked those rebel strands of hair behind her perfectly-sized ears.
He thought about it while he heated and curved and bent the glass for his art, sweat dripping down his back and flames reflected in his eyes.
He thought about it while they made love.
Being inside her was unlike anything he could have ever fathomed, and every time they came together, every time she let him take her, every time he tried to meld his body and his soul with hers, he found that the well inside him where his love had sprung was unfathomably deep, and it only went deeper each time. Inasmuch as he could, he thought about it then, although it was less a coherent thought and more an instinctual knowing. A truth.
They were made for each other.
Every day, it only became more evident.
Every day, his desire for her, his love for her, only grew.
He never thought he could love someone so much.
He was never so happy to be wrong.
Theo almost proposedright after he got the ring.
He carried it around with him everywhere, and he thought about it so much, it was practically a reflex to reach for his pocket.But the first time he automatically sought it out during Audrey’s graduation dinner, he stopped himself.
And panicked.
Something inside him, some wild instinct,panickedat the perfection of it all: not because it was too much and he wanted to run, but because it was so precious, he was terrified to lose it. Terrified that if he didn’t ask her that question, if he didn’t ask her to stay with him forever, if he didn’t ask her to codify what they had into law, something would happen and he’d miss his chance. He’d miss his chance if he didn’t do itnow.
