“You are very special, Kit,” Jem said. “You are the First Heir. We don’t yet know the extent of how that power works in you.”
“Or perhaps it is just that he has faerie blood,” said Tessa.
I could have told them it definitely wasn’t just faerie blood, because General Winter couldn’t use the gun and he doesn’t only have faerie blood, he has a full faerie body with faerie organs and everything. But I didn’t say anything. I had a weird feeling in my stomach. I told them I would put the gun away and not use it, and Jem and Tessa looked a little relieved. Then Mina piped up and said “Gun!” and then I felt like the worst person on earth.
So now it’s late and I’m up writing this letter to you that I am going to burn when I’m done, because I can’t sleep. I don’t want to be the only person in the world who can fire a magic gun. I don’t want General Winter to straighten up when I’m nearby like I outrank him. I don’t want any of this. I had five minutes where I got to think, oh neat, I found this cool-looking gun. I bet there’s a story behind it. I wonder if they’ll let me keep it or if it needs to go to a museum or something. And then I fired it and instantly—just another thing that’s weird about me.
Good night, Ty. I’ll never send this, and you’ll never read it.
Kit
LIVVY
Dear Julian,
You can see ghosts, but you cannot see me. Not when I come to sit by you while you sleep. Not when I am in the movements of the shadows across the lawn, or the twitch of a curtain. You cannot hear me, even though I am speaking to you because I have things I need to tell you.
I want to tell you about Ty.
He was there. We were there.
You don’t know we were there.
Kit knows.
***
Let me start over.
You like surprises, Ty says. Ty doesn’t like surprises, but you do.
He is learning Portals, how to open them, how to close them. You need a warlock. But Ty is learning and he is getting better. He wanted to come see you and Ragnor said he would help.
We wanted to come see you.
Ty warned Emma, but he told her not to tell you, so it would be a surprise.
So we came through together.
A ghost travels through a Portal just like a Shadowhunter. I didn’t know that. Isn’t that funny?
Well, I thought it was funny.
The Portal opened in the kitchen.
The kitchen looks nice. I am only a spirit caught between the world and the void, but I think you chose an excellent shade for the walls. You have always been so good with color.
Other than the color, which was a surprise but not a bad one, there was another surprise in the kitchen. Kit.
Kit was in the kitchen. Wearing that jacket he likes, with the fuzzy collar. The sun came through the window and lit him up.
Everything in Ty froze. Even I almost froze. I’ve seen Kit, of course. I visit him sometimes. Still, because I wasn’t expecting him, it struck me how different he looks from the way he looked when he lived at the Institute with us. Older and taller. More muscular. He moves like a Shadowhunter now. Graceful.
He’s beautiful.
I heard Ty take a breath like he never has before. Likehe was gasping for air, like he’d been sucker-punched and he was trying to breathe and trying to breathe and he couldn’t.
He whispered, “That’s not how you clean a gun.”
