Fuck.The fact that trauma could do this to a person, that emotions I understood and could toy with as I wanted could still render me useless, frustrated me.
Across the open space, the buildings dotted around, I spotted a familiar figure.Yun.She walked with Kenyon beside her, and just the sight of her dark hair eased the weight on my chest, the one that made it a challenge to draw breath.
Yun had survived the impossible, and while I didn’t know how, the fact she had grounded me.
If she could do that, I could face whatever Mr. Yorn and my past were dragging back up now.
Chapter Five
Ingram
Another dungeon, just like any other fucking day.
At least it gave me the chance to stretch my legs and get some work done, to burn off some energy. That was beneficial because every time I saw Yun, I wanted to throw her over my shoulder and take her right to bed.
Fuck that, I’d take her wherever the hell we were. I’d never claim to be picky, but with Yun, it had worsened. I’d be fine with pushing her up against a wall, with taking her from behind.
I’d turned into a pervert after just a little time with her.
Well, fuck, I guess I’d been a pervert for a long time, but she made brought it out in me all the more. Before, I’d take sex from anyone at any time. I didn’t give a damn who orgasms came from, the proof of that given what I’d done with Shear. So long as I got my needs met, so long as that hunger inside of me quieted for a damn minute, nothing else mattered.
Now, though?
Every last desire had warped, like shrink wrap, around Yun so that every fantasy, every urge, it all revolved aroundher.
Even jacking off hadn’t dulled the need. I’d tried until I was worried I’d end up chafing my cock, and it hadn’t helped.
I swung my arm, a short blade clutched in my hand, and sank it into one of the small creatures that dug up from the ground.
The dungeon was A-Rank, opening just an hour away from the base. I’d felt it open, that shiver through me drawing me closer.After we’d arrived, however, it seemed the rest of the Guild had caught on and sent other squads.
They still wanted us to work together, but they’d had no real success in that thus far.
The dungeon was filled with more espers than seemed, though we all stayed in our own areas. This was less a group working together and more people trying to exist in the same space and not kill each other by accident.
Kenyon stood beside Shear, and Carter was—
Well, fuck only knew. Probably wherever the largest concentration of monsters was. I took them out quickly, one at a time, but Carter? He’d rather taunt a whole damn group, then tear through them all. He wanted the pressure of more, always pushing the limits of what he could survive. It was like the fucker only knew he was alive if he was doing something really fucking dangerous.
I worked my way toward the heart of the dungeon. Carter had at least drawn off most of the monsters to leave my path mostly clear.
“There is another squad near the heart,”Ingram whispered in my head.
“Fuck, already?”
“They’re made up of two stealth specialist, a debuffer, and a healer/stealth mix. It means they can move mostly as a group.”
“Well good for them.” Even as I bit that retort out, I threw myself faster. I didn’t normally give a damn if anyone else did well, felt no desire to compete. That drive had been crushed inside me years before, when I’d seen what happened to those at the front, when I figured out how little the world actually cared for them and how quickly they’d turn on them.
However, something made me move, had me rushing toward the center of the dungeon, toward the familiar pillar that I knew would be there.
Yun was waiting outside the portal, at one of the trailers set up to hold guides. I hadn’t given a damn about impressing anyone, but the thought of walking out of this place and having someone else take care of the heart?
Yeah, no, I didn’t plan on letting that happen. I didn’t care if the other squads were A or S Ranked, I’d been at this long enough to know how to handle myself. I had a deeper connection to that void than any other stealth esper I’d ever encountered.
I’d bring the dust of that heart back to Yun like some gift to prove that she should stay with us.
While we didn’t want her to go, I had no doubt that the Guild would offer her whatever they could. This unease inside me made me desperate to show her the reasons to refuse, to pick us.
