I gritted my teeth.“With respect, sir, it’s one thing to hear that shit from opponents.It’s something else coming from the guys who are supposed to have your back.”
Coach Nery grunted, a little sound of agreement.
Coach Frazier shrugged.“We’re not talking about Chesterton.We’re talking about you making a big gay announcement in the locker room hours before we face the Foxes.Were youtryingto throw the team off-balance?”
I stared at him and bit back myWhat the fuck?I did want to keep playing for this team.“I didn’t make an announcement.Morty asked if my boyfriend had fucked my ass raw and I said no, he hadn’t.”
Part of me relished Coach’s little flinch, part of me was babbling hysterically at myself to keep my mouth shut and placate the guy who could have me cut from the team.I was flying high on lots of Miles, too little sleep, and coming out at last.Good judgment had flown out the window.
“That was inappropriate of Mortenson,” Coach snapped.“So was your response.”
“Why?Facts.”
“Players need to keep their personal lives out of the locker room.”
“Sure,” I said.“I didnotneed to hear about the cup size of that girl Wilkie was banging last week, but there we were.”Nerves caught up with me at that point and I felt a little sick.“Look, Coach, I didn’t come out for fifteen years, because I didn’t want me being gay to be a distraction or reflect on the team.I’m not going to hold a press conference, or invite fans to bring rainbow banners.”
“Although Dolan got some new fans in the house,” Coach Nery pointed out.“We had record crowds the beginning of his rookie season, for and against him.More interest, more media attention.A few season tickets canceled, but some new ones bought.No sign it hurt the team.”
Coach Frazier huffed.“Whatever.We’re talking about Valliere upsetting the locker room.”
I said, “Why would they be upset?Digger’s getting married.Lindy’s wife is pregnant.I have a boyfriend.So what?”
“You were stirring up trouble.”
Coach Nery shifted in his chair.“Honestly, I expect it was Mortenson stirring up trouble.”
Coach Frazier flashed him a glare.
“What?”Coach Nery retorted.“You know perfectly well what Mortenson’s like.Vally’s been quiet, no trouble, since I’ve been here.”He gave me a nod.
“But gay,” Coach Frazier pointed out.
Coach Nery shrugged.“Honestly, so what?We had Dolan for a year, and he did good for us.Hell, one of the other guys could be gay or bisexual and we don’t know.If they play good hockey, so what?”
I noted, “We have excellent rookies this year.Stackman, Korbel, maybe DiAngelo could make it to the big show fast.I’m trying to keep the locker room a place that builds them up, not beats them down.”
“You think one of them is gay?”Coach Frazier asked.
“No clue.But I think they all deservenotto have teammates who are digging for their tender spots and sticking a knife in them.”I sighed.“Look, I didn’t want this to be a big deal.Me and a bunch of the boys decided the bullying had gone far enough, and it came out in the mix.”
“After fifteen years.”
I raised my chin.“Yeah.”
Coach Nery said, “Is Miles Buckner, the NFL player, really your, uh, boyfriend?”
“Yeah.”I felt a grin tugging at my lips, tried to hold it back, then decided what the hell.“Yeah, he is.”The sheer glee of being able to say that made me giddy.
Coach Frazier huffed.“Well, I trust you won’t let your, uh, gayness be a distraction.No speeches, no waving banners.”
“That’s the plan.”I hesitated, and my voice wasn’t as strong as I wanted when I said, “But I don’t want to stop standing up to bullying in the locker room and on the ice.”
Coach Nery spoke up first.“That’s fine, especially if it’s a group effort.”He turned to Coach Frazier.“Right?”
Coach Frazier shrugged, not looking thrilled about being pushed into a corner.“You can’t make hockey players into choir boys.”
“I don’t want to,” I agreed.
