“One ofmyfriends?”
I didn’t remind Rachel that her band was on tour with her, or that most of her more distant friends were pretty flaky stoners, none of them people I knew well.I let the silence speak for the truth.
“There had to be someone,” she insisted.“How could you go crawling back to Logan asking for a favor after what he did?”
“Fuck you.I didn’t go crawling.Logan called me at exactly the right moment, to congratulate me on my engagement and say he was sorry.He’d read about Jayden ratting me out to the media, and wanted to offer support.”
“Jayden sucked, but now you forgave Logan, just like that?He ripped your fucking heart out.I know because I sat with you while you were bleeding.”
I sighed.“Yeah, he did.And I didn’t forgive himjust like that.But despite everything, I did trust him.He was the one person nearby I could tell, ‘I need you right now,’ and have them drop everything and show up.”
“He didn’t show up last time you needed him.”
“Iknow.”I rubbed my face.“You don’t need to keep reminding me.But I’ve always understood why he couldn’t come out in that moment.”
“Why hewouldn’t.”
“Yes.Because he had reasons.Did you call Avery a coward for not standing up to her dad and telling him about you before you left for Japan?”
“That’s different.”
“Oh, is it?”
“She’s twenty-two, not thirty-three.”
“So you’re saying she’s immature.”
Rachel huffed.“Her dad controlled all her money.”
“You’re saying the hockey league didn’t control Logan’s?”
“Fuck.”Rachel was silent for a minute.“Can’t I hate him in peace?”
“Not if you want to hang out with us when you get back.”
“Us?Shit.Tell me you aren’t together again.”
I laughed.“You want me to lie to you?”
She said, “No.God, he leads you around by the dick, doesn’t he?”
“Hey!”I glared at my reflection in the mirror, as a substitute for Rachel.“It’s not about sex with Logan, and you know it.If I only wanted a hot guy to fuck, I have plenty of choices.”
“Sorry.I know.”Rachel lowered her tone.“Are yousurethis is a smart move?”
“Sure it’s smart?No.But sure it’s what I want, what I need?Hell, yes.I feel better after one day than I have the entire past year.”
“Do you trust him not to stomp on your heart again?”
There was the sixty-four-thousand-dollar question.“I trust him not to want to hurt me.To try not to.”
“I guess that’s something.”
“He came out to a teammate and his captain yesterday, before he knew I was Avery’s beard.”
“Really?”Rachel sounded dubious.“Didn’t you say his captain was one of the douchebags in the locker room?”
“Yeah, and Logan told him anyway.”
