Cam may still be beautiful. There was no question of that, but Mitch wasn’t. He was a middle-aged dude with a broken back, three kids, and that was it.
Of course he had three amazing daughters, which was a hell of a lot more than some people had. Some people only had one child, and they were dicks. Some people had nineteen children and half of them were dicks, which canceled them out.
“What are you smiling about?”
He shrugged at Cam, or tried to. His shrugs these days were more like shoulder wiggles.
“Honestly, I was trying to figure out if you had eighteen children and half of them were awful human beings and half were amazing, does that really mean you had zero children? Like do they cancel themselves out?”
Cam leaned forward and stared at him. “Are you high?”
“I’m holding this baby.” Was he high? “I wouldn’t do that if I was high.”
“Well, you might do it if you were high. If you were high, you wouldn’t care.”
“What?” He didn’t follow.
“Well think about it. If you were high, then maybe being high makes you not care that you’re high, so you could hold the baby.”
“You’re giving me a great pain in my head.”
Cam grinned at him. “Yeah, I know. I’m one of the bad kids, huh?”
“Well, your mother doesn’t have eighteen at least.”
Cam’s grin went evil. “No, but she does have seven, and of those seven, four are married. That means she’s got eleven right now.”
“Okay, how many of you guys are good?” He smiled as Laurie took the baby.
“Well, Diane and Lisa are really nice. Leanne’s okay. Wilder’s kinda great.”
She flipped him off. “Leaving. Lori will be back with the girls in an hour or so.”
They both waved, and then Cam started back as if they’d never been interrupted. “Ramsey and his wife, they’re both kinda dicks. Lori’s cool. Stephen? Dick. Kacey? Dick. Susan? Who knows.” Cam grinned at him. “She’s eighteen. She doesn’t know her ass from a hole in the ground yet.”
“Yeah.” Then he snort-chuckled. “I knew your ass from a hole in the ground at that age.”
“Oh, Jesus.” Cam glanced around wildly, as if looking for kids. “Hush.”
“It’s true.”
“But you don’t have to announce it.”
Mitch rolled his eyes. “Sorry!” He shouldn’t bring up their past indiscretions.
They’d been really fun indiscretions.
Besides, Cam shook his head. “You don’t do that anymore, right? You’re well, I mean, you were married.”
His lips twisted. “You know, bisexuality is a thing.”
“I know. Your middle daughter told me.”
“She did?” This time it was his eyebrow that arched up into his hairline. He would have loved to have been a fly on the wall forthatconversation.
“She did. She explained to me all about liking boys and girls and how bigots were bad.”
“That’s my girl.” He adored her.
