Paige
Am I breathing?
Me
20 mins?
Paige
Say less
Paige beats me there this time. I can see her bright blond hair through the windows once I walk up to the front of the shop. Her eyes are on her phone while her little charge sits in her arms, looking over her shoulder and taking in the coffee shop. I smile at the sight. Someone holds the door open for me, so I slip in before them and hop into the back of the line.
“Becky!”
With a jump I drag my eyes from the cutie I was staring at, grab my coffee and stare, again, into the little happy face as I walk their way.
“Hello Cassian, you little adorable human,” I coo at him. “Oh, you too Paigey.” I pat her mop of hair as I move past her to sit down with my white chocolate mocha with raspberrybecause I’m treating myself, dammit.
“You got violent looking there for a second,” came the unneeded observation from across the table.
“Thanks, Paige.” My head drops down onto my crossed arms. “I have some shi-znit going down.” My voice is muffled, but audible enough to be heard.
“Yeah, you do.”
“Okay, yeah, well, ugh.” I raise my head to find her studying me.
Her eyes get a little narrow, then they widen. “Becky? Are you good?”
I study her back. I take in her open, but tired face and decide on the whole truth. “No.”
She considers me, then nods. “Do you need a hug?”
“Yes.” No hesitation.
“Oh, honey, come here.” She demands in her gentle way, so I do. I stand my happy, basically thirty-year-old ass up and meet her halfway in a soul warming hug. The baby cooing and babbling between us helps heal my heart a little. “You’re going to get through this. Carter has been working so hard and…”
I pull back and take in her face. “And what?”
“I’m sorry, Becky. You’ll have to see it yourself. I can’t say anything else about it.” Her words saysorrybut her face saysgot ya.But then I watch as a weight settles over her shoulders, and see her brightness dim.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I know she keeps saying no, but I want to keep asking.
“No, Love. Not right now. We have bigger fish to fry.” She settles herself into her seat and picks up her drink. The baby starts fussing a bit, and I watch as she shoves his pacifier into his mouth and begins to bounce with him.
“You’re a natural at that, you know?”
She laughs. “Honestly, not really. I was sorta pushed into becoming a natural, or else.” A soft smile lights her face. “Jacob taught me a lot. Now that I’ve been nannying and taking care of little ones for nine, nearly ten years, I’ve learned even more.” We move naturally into talking about her adorable son, his classes, and school, when Cass starts to get really fussy. Paige throws me an apologetic look when he hits an impossible decibel.
“I’m so sorry, he needs his nap. But I’ll see you tonight, I promise.” She leans over and kisses my head before heading out the door. I sit in the ambiance of the busy coffee shop for a while and consider the last few months of my life, but then I finish off my drink and gleefully stand to fix the easy problem that presents.
I stand in line, convincing myself that I need and deserve another cup of milky coffee goodness when I feel a chill run down my spine. The little hairs on my neck stand straight up. I shrug my shoulders to try to ease the feeling. That doesn’t work, so I turn to look behind me, but I don’t see anything, so I face toward the counter again. My eyes catch on ahelp wantedpaper on the register.
Oh, sad. I wonder who’s leaving.
Nearing my turn to order, I start to mentally script my words in preparation. I can teach kids with no sleep, a head cold, and no supplies if necessary. Talking to adults is a different story.How am I going to talk to the school board, in front of my peers and community members, if I can’t even order a drink without being anxious?
“I’ll take a white mocha rasp—” a flash of a familiar red is reflected in the glass in front of me, and I lose my train of thought. “I’ll take a white rasp—oh my gosh I am so sorry.”Deep breath. “I’ll take a white chocolate mocha with raspberry please.”
