“Her name isTaylorHarrison.”
Hell no. The world wouldn’t be so cruel.
“You may have seen her around town.” The look of pity on her face tells me that, yes, this is thesameTaylor.
“Oh, that’s nice. What posi—what job title does Ms. Harrison hold?”
“She will be a Teacher’s Assistant. She starts next week with the other TAs. She was originally assigned to middle school. If you need to swap…?”
She lets the semi-question hang in the air between us, and I don’t grab hold of it. An uncomfortable silence passes between us before I finally tell her, in a moment of actual insanity, “I’m happy to keep things the way they are.” Lying as much to myself as I am to her.
I remind myself thatTaylorowed me no loyalty.I’m not going to let my ex-fiance’s poor choices be the reason I’m trash to another woman.
“Yeah, well, that’s good. Please keep me updated on how everything works out. Well, I’ll be out for the first few weeks. First, I have a conference, and then, you know, I’m finally taking that amazing trip to Italy!” Her voice reaches a sing-song note onItaly. I know she’s been planning this trip for years.
“Sure thing, Ronnie.” I send her off with a stiff smile becausewhat am I going to do with this mess?
I sit and stare at my halfway done bulletin board and question existence and other casual concepts until I finally shake myself out of it and open up my laptop again. Choosing distraction in the form of productivity.
First, I check my email for any other admin updates. Seeing nothing there, I bite the bullet and go into the faculty listing and find her.
Mother loving sonuvabiscuit eater.I try to temper even myinternalmonologue while in the school to avoid issues. I have the unapologetic mouth of a sailor, except around my students, in school, or around parents.
I stare at her picture and see a completely different woman than the one I met the other day staring at me. Her makeup is tasteful, her hair is straight, and her clothes are a clean business casual. She is young, and gorgeous, and I want to absolutely hate her. I really shouldn’t, but I do. I should. I shouldn’t.
Except that sneer.
I shake it off and look back to the picture.Ugh. So pretty. Not at all average.A tug of despair briefly hooks me before I shake that off too. I am at work. I need to focus on work.
Hoping for something good to lighten this sudden heaviness, I go to check my Amazon Wish List and do a quick scan of the items. Twenty items. Ten necessities and ten it-would-be-nice. Nothing purchased.
Of course not.
I open up my bank app to check out what I can spare when I notice Carter’s personal account is far higher than I realized. I want to investigate, but I worry about what I might find. I’m already spiraling, and I can’t invite that energy into my classroom. I put it on my mental calendar to check againlater.I exit out of the app before I confirm what I already know,I’m a broke bitty,and send a quick text.
Me
Wanna have that coffee date?
Paige
Oh thank God, yes. Now?
Me
Yup. See you in 20?
Paige
Yassssss
I love her.
?????
Twenty minutes later, I walk into our local coffee shop, interestingly enough called The Tea, for lunch and, of course, for some of that life giving nectar also known as caffeine in latte form. Paige messaged me again last night—checking in and asked if I wanted to meet up sometime. I was honestly worried that Carter was going to be able to keep her during the break up, so I was really excited when she contacted me.
She had messaged me Saturday too, and that’s what apparently led to Carter ending up at our door. He stood on the other side of it for awhile. I know because I sat and listened for his steps. I hated how disappointed I felt when the rumble of his truck started up.
