Him
Hell yeah, that’d be great. I’ve been living off fast food the last few weeks.
Tay ;)
Poor thing. I’ll take care of ya xx
Tay ;)
Scary Dr. appointment today.
Tay;)
My car isn’t starting.
Bullshit!I clocked the date and knew what was supposed to be happening when those messages came in.This bitch has an agenda.
As I looked, I noticed an influx of memes and links to videos from her just in the last week. From what I could see, there was no sign of him initiating.That isn’t the same thing as innocent.I went to his call log, and there were a handful of phone calls from him to her and her to him, but they seemed to match up to this supposed work help thing. Nothing over thirty seconds or so.
My heart wanted this lack of evidence to be enough to forget about this whole thing. That message wasn’t quite the smoking gun I originally thought it was in context. The things that were there,though? My brain knew better than to drop it; I needed some answers.
I handed the phone back to a quiet Carter. “Are you eating dinner with a woman who is not your fiancé?” I asked him directly. Calmly. Apparently having my heart slowly torn from my body, while my mind tried desperately to make sense of everything, could slow down and center my outward chaotic and violent energy.Who knew?
My fiancé, my future husband, looked into my eyes a beat and responded, “Yes, only not the way you’re making it sound.”
The audacity of this fucker.
Deep breath.“I’m not making it sound like anything but a straight up question. If it sounds bad to you when said straight forward that way, maybe it means you’re doing something wrong.”
Silence.
“Why am I not aware thatmy fiancéis spending this much,” I gesture at the phone in his hand, “time with another woman that I’ve never even met? Time that you haven’t been spending with me.” My voice broke on that last bit. I had to tighten up. No weakness. Not yet.
A look crossed his features that I thought I recognized as guilt. I blinked and his face was set to a calm neutrality. "I didn't tell you because it is not a big deal. I didn’t even think it was important enough to bring up. I mean, come on, Becks, do I need your permission to give people rides or accept food from them?”
Breathe in, breathe out. Focus.
“I mean, I will ask if that’s such a big deal to you, Becky.” He sounded dismissive. His face remained relaxed, like someone who fully believed they did nothing wrong. If it wasn’t for that flash of—something—on his all-too-familiar visage, I’d think we were discussing putting the dishes away, not possible infidelity.
A conglomeration of gross feelings sloshed around in my belly as he spoke. His calm didn’t pacify me. It concerned me. The avoidance sounded uncomfortably familiar.Like my ex.
I knew, because of what I had learned in my counseling, and my years of dating the level-headed Carter, that I was dangerously closeto completely losing it. I was thoroughly into my fight, flight, or freeze response.
If that’s such a bigfuckingdeal? Yeah it’s a big fucking deal, Carter!
His eyes got big, and I realized I said that out loud.
“No, Becks, it’s really not. You need to calm down.”
My jaw dropped.
I turned away before I punched him in the larynx and walked out the door.
Ellie followed. Carter did not.
It wasn’t until later that I realized it.
The dinner text was missing.
