‘Listen, here’s what you can do. Firstly, contact the Revenge Porn Helpline. Ask them to help you take down the video. Secondly, start collecting your own evidence. Anything you can find.’
Iris glanced at Mum, whose eyes and mouth were wide open. Iris could tell what she was thinking. She wanted to know why it was up to them, and not the police, to collect evidence.
PC Lynch answered the question, even though no one had actually asked it. ‘Apart from the fact we lack resources, as I mentioned, most police officers aren’t trained in digital investigation techniques.’ There wasn’t even a hint of regret in his voice.
‘That’s true.’ PC Quinlan’s voice was more apologetic. ‘We’ll do our best, though,’ she repeated. ‘I promise.’
But she didn’t say exactly what they would do.
Iris and her parents left the police station. Iris could tell Mum and Dad were as gutted as she was.
*
It wasn’t until the next week that Mum suggested Iris should go online and find as much evidence as she could. ‘Texts, emails, photos, anything,’ Mum said.
The police had given Iris back her phone by then, but she still hadn’t turned it on. She didn’t mean to look. But it was everywhere. She had text messages, some from anonymous numbers. Pupils were discussing it in WhatsApp groups. Either they didn’t realize she belonged to those groups or else they didn’t give a shit. There were jokes, at her expense. Criticisms, levelled at her. Some pupils had written private messages to her via Instagram, calling her names. She didn’t even know all of the pupils personally.
For, like, five minutes, Iris read one comment after the other. Then she completely lost it. She roared as she chucked her phone at the wall. It hit with a load crack. Curling up on the bed, she hugged her knees to her chest and buried her face; she started to cry and, moments later, she was sobbing uncontrollably. She squeezed her eyes tight shut, but she could still see the words. She could even hear them in her head.
What the fuck was she thinking?
Why did she send it in the first place?
She’s brought this on herself.
You slut!
There had been some more lurid remarks by some of the boys in her school, but the ones that scrolled behind her eyelids hit harder. The victim shaming. It hurt far more, not just because this was what other people thought of her, but also because this was what she thought of herself.
Mum burst into her room and sat on the bed beside her. She held her tightly and rocked her.
‘It’s my fault,’ Iris sobbed. ‘This is all my fault.’
‘No, it’s not,’ Mum said firmly.
‘It is! Everyone says so. I should never have … sent that v-video. I deserve … I deserve what has happened.’
‘No, you don’t,’ Mum said. ‘That’s like telling a rape victim she shouldn’t have worn a short skirt. This isn’t your fault.’
Dad came by that evening to pick her up. Iris had asked to spend the weekend at his place. As much as anything else, it might give Mum, Olly and Margo a break. They were all exhausted from having to deal with the shitstorm she’d started. As for Daniel, he looked at her in the same way as PC Lynch had looked at her. Oh, he pretended to be on her side, especially in front of Mum. But Iris could tell he thought she’d screwed up. And she had. Big time.
Iris paused on the stairs, her bag slung over her shoulder. Daniel and Margo were in the kitchen and the door was closed. Olly was at a mate’s house. Mum and Dad were talking in the hallway and hadn’t seen her.
‘The people at the Revenge Porn Helpline have been really helpful and I’m reporting the video every time I find it to get it deleted,’ Dad was saying. ‘But it’s like a game of Whack-a-Mole. Every time it gets taken down on one website, it pops up on another.’
Iris gripped the handrail like she was about to fall down the stairs. Dad must be spending his spare time trawling through porn sites. He must hate her for this. She certainly hated herself for putting everyone through this.
‘Oh, God, Ash, what are we going to do?’
‘Just keep doing what we’re doing, I guess. Damage control.’
‘Perhaps we could get a lawyer?’ Mum said.
‘Yes, that’s what I was thinking. I’ll ask Roly if he can recommend someone.’ Dad looked up and saw her. ‘Hey, Gorgeous,’ he said. ‘Ready to roll?’
Iris tried to nod. She could barely put one foot in front of the other to go down the stairs.
‘OK. Let’s get out of here,’ Dad said, giving her a hug as she reached the bottom step.
