But I do not wonder anymore. Selene is worth more devotion than my miserable, immortal soul will ever be able to provide her.
The pain radiates again and I know it will only get worse the more I ignore it.
Not yet. Please, not yet.
The tattoos across my chest realign, transforming to create asunburst halo around Selene. They cradle her head, never leaping from my skin while they crown the goddess in onyx ink.
My gaze snags on a single lock of her blonde hair still tipped in red—blood that I must have missed when I bathed her. She still smells of the pomegranate soap I used to scrub away the evidence of our depravity. Every inch of her was washed and kissed clean, this queen who will hate me soon.
The pain stabs me again.
“No.” I defy it even though I know it’s no use.
“Dray?” Selene’s sleep-heavy voice whispers against my bare chest. She turns, lifting her golden eyes to mine. “What’s wrong?”
“Everything.”
“What do you mean?” Her wild curls cascade over her shoulder as she sits up. “Talk to me.”
Words dry up like chalk in my mouth. There’s so much I want to say to her but I can’t. The Under Realm won’t allow me to tell her the truth, and my feelings without that context will do nothing but hurt her.
“You have to go.”
“What?” she asks. “Why would I go?”
“We had a bargain, Selene. One day in the Under Realm. That is all you were granted.”
Her face contorts with confusion as she tries to sort through my carefully guarded words. “Then grant me more. If this is about the bargain, I’ll make another one.”
“It doesn’t work like that.”
“Then tell me how it works,” she demands. “You made me your queen. Surely that means something to you.”
“That means everything to me, my light.”
“Don’t.” Selene shakes her head, sliding away from my touch. “Don’t call me that. If I meant anything to you, you wouldn’t do this. You don’t want me to stay.”
“That’s not true.” I try and fail to find a way around the rulesI’m bound to uphold. “I could give you a million reasons why I want you to stay, but there will always be one reason that you cannot. And even I don’t have the power to change that.”
“Are you not the king?” she scoffs boldly. “Is this not your realm?”
“No,” I whisper, a single tear beginning to form in the corner of my eternally emotionless eyes. “I mean, yes, I am the king, but only in name.”
I let every emotion, every confession, fill my eyes as I grip her by the face and force her to look at me. With every fiber of my immortal being, I will her to understand what I cannot say. The Under Realm is a prison, and while I may be its warden, I am trapped all the same. We may have made a deal, but I made my own with this realm centuries ago.
“You are alive, Selene. Only the dead can reside here.”
“You reside here, Drayven. You are not dead.”
Look at me.I silently scream at her.See me, my light.
“Is this about Taura’s vision?” she asks, still not understanding.
“No, it’s not about some fucking vision.” My fists ball in the silk sheets as she scoots away from me again. “I granted you one day so that you’d never ask about that again.”
“One day to what? To fuck me and drink my blood and play out some depraved fantasy before sending me home? Was this just a game to you?”
“I let you reshape this realm. I made you a throne and I bowed at your feet. I gave you my Creation-damned blood in return. Does that sound like a game to you?”
