Roman looked at me, kind of sheepishly. “I’m sorry.”
“You already apologized, and it’s really not a big deal. Today was a lot, and my dad was an asshole to you. Plus, like I said, I like hugs.” I gave him a wink.
His tension softened a bit as he smiled at me and gave me a nod.
Jed was back already with Rome’s plate—pretty sure he used a little vampire speed—and handed it over before zooming across the room to Zellya and throwing the little fae over his shoulder, earning squeals of delight.
“You’re coming with me, little one.”
“Nooooo… whhyyyy meeee?” she yelled, but she was laughing, clearly enjoying herself.
Jed started tickling her as he walked into the kitchen, saying, “Because you need to eat, goof.”
After we finished eating, Keryth asked me, “Do you want me to show you which rooms you guys can use?”
I nodded. “Sure.”
Rooms, as in plural? I was kind of hoping we could stay in the same room, even though all I wanted to do was sleep next to Roman.
Well, I wanted to do other things, many other things, but my head felt like it was too full of… too many emotions and so much crap, and I didn’t want to mess anything up.
I’d never even had a serious relationship before.
Well, that wasn’t exactly true, but… but that relationship hadn’t really been my idea.
I blinked as her face flashed across my mind, and I sucked in a breath as a memory hit me out of the blue.
“Listen, Oakley, you need to set your feelings aside and deal with it because this is what the grand master wants for you,” my mother said, glaring at me with something like hate in her gaze. I hated that look, I hated the way it made me feel small, like I was only a foot tall and ready to be stomped on, like maybe I should just go hide in a corner and hope I disappeared into the shadows, never to be found again.
“But, Mom, I don’t even like girls.” I mean, I did. But not in the way she wanted me to, not in the way that was expected of me. I honestly wasn’t sure I liked anyone at all. I liked looking at all types of people, but the thought of touching someone I didn’t know gave me the heebie jeebies.
“Too bad. Fake it till you make it, Oakley.” She gave me a push toward the door. “Go on.”
I walked out of our yurt, unsurprised to find Filverel Gremyar, the leader of the Emissaries of Gepisha’s Iron, standing there with Coral Heliot and her parents. I tried not to breathe too deeply with the grand master standing right there—he always smelled like blood and death.
All eyes turned to me, and Master Gremyar smiled at me, although the look was more like a you-do-as-I-say look rather than a I’m-happy-to-see-you one.
I knew that look all too well, and it was another one that made me want to shrink back into the shadows.
“Master,” I said with a small bow of my head.
“Oakley, it’s wonderful to see you, my boy.”
I clenched my jaw, doing my best not to make a face at the purposeful misgendering. I’d told everyone I was nonbinary over a year ago, and still, no one ever respected my pronouns, not even my own mother. Every time someone referred to me as a boy or used he or him, it felt like a little bit of my soul died. The older I got, I swore it felt like the magic of my dragon was fading away when it should’ve been doing the opposite.
Perhaps part of that was because of the things they made me do when in dragon form. Or more like, the things they did to me.
But I just knew some of it was the fact that no one in my life ever saw me. No one ever wanted to. No one cared at all about how I felt.Ever.
Had they ever cared? Would they ever?
Was I meant to go through this life without ever feeling seen?
I wrapped my arms around myself in a strange self-hug fashion, trying to let go of all the bad feelings before I was punished for having them at all.
Master Gremyar said, “Now, you and Coral will spend the day together, and in a few months, we’ll make your union official.”
I blinked at that in surprise, considering I was only sixteen. Usually, couples had a few years to get to know one another, and the grand master married them when they were eighteen.
