“Shhh…” I pulled my crying mate farther into my arms. “It’s alright, love. It wasn’t your responsibility to save them. It wasn’t your job to protect them.”
“Maybe not, but I… I wanted to.”
“Shh. I know. I know, babydoll. It’s alright.” I rocked them and whispered sweet nothings into their ear while they cried so hard my shirt needed to be squeezed out.
I hated that they were upset, but I was so grateful that they felt safe enough with me to be vulnerable. To be open and honest.
But I really wished I could take their pain and fear away.
When they finally calmed down, they whispered, “I’m sorry I—”
“Nope. Don’t do that. You’re allowed to have emotions. You’re allowed to cry. And out of everyone in the world, I’m the one you should be crying on.”
They snorted. “You like being covered in my tears and snot?”
“Yep.”
That made them chuckle, and they patted my back. “I’m okay now. Uh, why don’t you go shower all the boogers off… please.”
I laughed and kissed their forehead. “I will, but let me hold you for a little while longer.”
When they spoke, their voice was quieter than usual. “Yeah… yeah, I’d like that.” After a few seconds, they added, “But maybe take your shirt off. I wasn’t kidding about the boogers.”
I laughed and released them, whipped off my shirt, threw it toward the hamper, and pulled them back into me. “You just wanted to see me shirtless.”
They laughed a little, although it was tinged with sadness. “You know me so well.”
I held them tighter and kissed the top of their head, and they squeezed my waist tight enough there wasn’t an inch between us.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Oakley
Crying in Roman’s arms like that yesterday morning was terrible and wonderful at the same time. I’d hated feeling so vulnerable and upset—so fucking raw—but Roman was… so solid. So helpful and comforting and just… there for me.
I’d never had that in my life. Not really.
Coral and I had become best friends, but we’d both been in such a terrible place that comforting one another that way would’ve been dangerous. Hell, crying the way I had would’ve gotten me at least a day chained up and cut open.
Crying had been frowned upon in our community—cult, dammit. It was a cult. I knew that. A cult.
Ugh.
But getting all of that out yesterday had been draining and refreshing at the same time.
In fact, I hadn’t had any nightmares last night. At least not that I remembered, and Roman wasn’t woken up by my thrashing, so I’d call it a win.
“You okay, babes?” Keryth asked, drawing me out of my head.
I blinked at him. “Uh, yeah. I’m good. Sorry. Lost in thought.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
I offered a genuine smile. “Nah.” If I was going to talk about it, I’d talk to Roman more. But I was all talked out.
For now.
“Hey, Oak?” Zellya called over from her spot at the table where she was eating pancakes.
