“If you need anything, just let us know,” Heavenly called to his retreating back.
“Yeah. Thanks.” Hudson paused at the top of the stairs, turning serious. “And thanks for…you know. Letting me stay.”
“You’re family,” Seth said simply.
After Hudson nodded thoughtfully and disappeared downstairs, Heavenly followed Seth out to the back patio. Beck joined them. The warm evening air enveloped them as the guys settled into the outdoor sofa, pulling her between them.
This was where she belonged. And despite all the recent upheaval, this was where she felt safe. But now…they were alone, and she had so many questions.
“So…tell me about your time with Hudson downstairs.”
“We had a really good talk.” Seth’s voice was rougher than usual. “It’s early days, and I know that kid is going to test me. Hell, he’ll probably test all of us.”
“He will.” Beck nodded. “I see so much of myself in that kid.”
Seth nodded. “Same. But I’m thinking…this could work. How are you feeling?”
“I agree.” Heavenly took his hand and squeezed it. “You’re doing the right thing.”
“You are,” Beck agreed. “But I’m sure walking in and seeing him today was a hell of a shock. I give you credit for handling it so well. Seems like fatherhood is like water off a duck’s back for you.”
“More like riding a bike.” Seth ran his hands through his hair. “But I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything, especially some stuff that happened my last day in New York.”
She exchanged a glance with Beck before she turned back to Seth. “Is that why you didn’t call last night?”
For long moments, he didn’t answer. Then he finally blew out a harsh breath. “Yeah. Lately, I started thinking that if we’re going to have a baby, we’ll need a bigger house. One with fewer stairs, proper nursery space. Maybe a yard big enough for a swing set.”
Heavenly’s heart fluttered at the image he painted, at the future he envisioned. It sounded idyllic.
“I’ve been thinking the same thing,” Beck added. “This place won’t work long-term.”
Seth nodded. “It’s past time I sell the house I lived in with Autumn and Tristan, free up some cash to hopefully buy a new place. I hadn’t stepped foot inside that place in eight years—until yesterday. I went there to see what work it needed before I put it on the market.”
Heavenly blinked at Seth in shock. He’d never mentioned owning another house. In fact, he almost never talked about that part of his life.
“I’ll sell this place, too,” Beck said. “Together, we’ll be able to afford something bigger and better. I have a patient who’s an amazing realtor. She’ll help us find exactly what we need.”
“In a good school district,” Heavenly piped in. “We’ll need that right away, if Hudson stays. But we can’t get too far from everyone’s work.”
“Exactly,” Beck agreed, then turned back to Seth. “So what kind of work does your place need?”
Seth was quiet for a long moment before he rose, putting his back to them and staring out at the pool. “I don’t know. I lasted less than five minutes in the fucking house before I ran out. I just…couldn’t be there. Too many ghosts.”
“Oh, Seth,” Heavenly breathed, her heart hurting for him. She rose and approached him, smoothing soft hands over his shoulders.
“Everything was almost exactly the same as the day I left eight years ago. Autumn’s knickknacks were still all over the house. Tristan’s toys were still tucked into baskets in the living room. It was like walking into a tomb.” His voice cracked. “Logically, I get why it affected me; I hadn’t seen the place since they died. But running out made me feel like a fucking coward.”
Beck approached and forced Seth to meet his head-on stare. “You survived something horrific, and confronting those memories isn’t fucking easy, man. You dealt with trauma that would have broken most people.”
“He’s right,” Heavenly reassured, reaching for Seth’s hand. “Going there took incredible strength.”
“But I tucked tail and ran.” Seth raked a hand through his blond hair. “I want to move forward with you two. Start the future, get married, have babies, and build our family. I know it’s important to you both, and I’m trying.”
But could he give them what they craved? That thought terrified Heavenly. “We know you are.”
“You don’t. And I keep disappointing you. I just…” Seth trailed off, looking lost. “Mentally, I’m not where I should be. But I’m trying. And I’ll keep trying. Today, talking to Hudson felt…good. Maybe it sounds crazy, but I feel like, if I can handle having a teenage son here, maybe…I’m not as broken as I thought. Maybe I can actually do this fatherhood thing again.”
Clearly, he hoped that was the case. And maybe he was right, but Heavenly couldn’t help but wonder… Would having a teenage son help Seth work through his fears? Or would it painfully remind him of what he’d lost when Tristan perished.
