She made it barely a step from the table when his hand enclosed her wrist. It wasn’t a tight grip and she knew the slightest pressure against it and he’d release her. But she didn’t want him to let her go, she wanted him to anchor her in that moment, tell her again that she deserved to take up whatever space she wanted and he’d be fine with it. Inevitably, inexorably, she was back on the beach feeling his arms around her, the weight of his lips pressing in delicious demand against her own.
His hand slid lower, entwining their fingers together. ‘Kat?’ His voice was a deep rumble and the way he said her name was a promise she desperately wanted to hear. The sound of his chair scraping back sent her insides skittering and she could feel the warmth of him at her back though the only parts of their bodies that touched were their hands. What would it be like to simply lean back into the strength of him? To feel his arms close aroundher, to have him hold her and… her brain fritzed out as the image of Harry in only his underwear popped into her mind.
‘Kat?’ Softer this time, yet no less tempting.
What if she gave in to this new desire and it all went wrong? What if they woke up in the morning and realised it was all a terrible mistake? What if they woke up and Harry decidedshewas a mistake? It was a risk she couldn’t afford to take. ‘I’d better check on dinner,’ she said again.Coward.
His hold on her vanished and Kat hurried towards the oven before she could change her mind. Only after she’d finished stirring the pot and put it back to cook for a bit longer did she risk a peek across the kitchen. Harry wasn’t there and she didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed.
Relieved, she told herself as she grabbed her laptop and escaped to her room to try and process what had almost happened. Harry was a good friend, nothing more. Just as one swallow didn’t make a summer, one kiss – no matter how heart-poundingly wonderful – didn’t make a relationship. It would be too easy to mistake this new proximity between them for intimacy. Once they’d adjusted to being around each other it would become easier for the both of them, she was sure of it. Hadn’t she decided that this was the year she was going to focus on building a more secure future for herself? Throwing herself headlong into a romance that risked not only the roof over her head but ruining a friendship she deeply valued would be reckless in the extreme. And Kat had never been reckless in her life.
Unfortunately.
18
Dinner that first night in the flat together had been excruciating. Harry had wanted to hide in his room, embarrassed he’d let his feelings get the better of him and put Kat in an awkward position where she’d had to reject him again within twenty-four hours of stepping away from their kiss on the beach. But hiding would’ve been a coward’s move and whatever else Harry was, he wasn’t that. So he’d fronted up and apologised, and somehow they’d got through a gut-squirming evening. He’d put a film on theTVand suggested they eat dinner on their laps.
Kat had accepted his apology but there’d been little conversation other than that. She’d excused herself almost as soon as she’d finished eating, saying it had been a long day and disappearing into her room. He’d watched the rest of the film, a bog-standard action thriller with an ending he could see coming a mile off. Still, he’d stuck with it until the credits – better that than lying in bed cursing himself for his clumsy behaviour. He’d clearly spooked her. Making Kat feel uncomfortable had been the last thing he’d wanted, but she needed someone to show how special she was and his stupid heart had decided he was the one to do it. Shame his feelings were clearly not reciprocated.And he’d had the nerve to give Ed a hard time about being too impulsive. Maybe they were more alike than just in looks.
Slowly, over the next few days, the atmosphere in the flat had eased. Harry had made sure to give Kat plenty of space and had been grateful when they’d both returned to their usual work schedule and he was either at work or asleep for most of the time when she was around.
It was the second Friday of January and Harry was working some of his frustration out by making bread in the restaurant kitchen when the back door flew open and Russ blew in on a blast of freezing air that sent a cloud of flour up from Harry’s workstation. ‘Shut the bloody door!’ His last word ended in a strangled cough.
‘Is that any way to greet a person!’ his boss exclaimed as he removed his coat and hung it up.
Harry grabbed the glass of water at his elbow and gulped some down to clear his throat. ‘Sorry, Russ. Did you and Marley have a good day yesterday?’
Things were quieter in the restaurant this time of year. People were either tightening their belts after the expense of Christmas or weren’t keen to travel far from home on icy roads, or both. Russ had offered Harry a few evenings off but he’d turned the tables and suggested Russ take some time to be with his wife instead. Harry had taken responsibility for all the daily prep so this was the first time he and Russ had been alone together for a while.
‘We didn’t do a bloody thing and it was glorious,’ Russ said with a grin as he rubbed his hands together. ‘It’s brass bloody monkeys out there. I need a cuppa to warm me up.’ He walked to the sink and washed his hands. It was the first thing he’d ingrained into Harry when he’d started working for him.‘Wash your hands before you touch anything.’He filled the kettle then leaned his back against the counter and watched Harrypounding away at the ball of dough on the board in front of him. ‘That’ll be like rubber if you carry on like that, lad.’
Harry eased off immediately. ‘Yeah, you’re right.’ He scooped up the dough, placed it back in the mixing bowl, covered it and slid it into the proving drawer to rest. He rolled his shoulders to loosen the tight muscles, then accepted the mug of coffee Russ plonked down in front of him. ‘Thanks.’
‘My pleasure. So, how’s Kat settling in?’
Harry’s head shot up at the question. Russ hadn’t done more than shrug when he’d first mentioned she’d moved in and Harry had assumed he hadn’t cared. Perhaps he’d been annoyed that they’d done it without asking permission first. His boss had always left him to his own devices when it came to the flat, but Russ was technically still his landlord. ‘I hope you don’t mind that she’s moved in?’
Russ shrugged. ‘I couldn’t give a flying f-uh-fig who you live with, lad. Your private life’s your own.’ He sipped his coffee and shot Harry a knowing grin over the rim of his mug. ‘You kept that one quiet.’
‘Kept what? Oh! No, it’s nothing like that.’ Well, it was something like that on Harry’s part. ‘She was feeling a bit in the way with Liam spending so much time at Issy’s so I said she was welcome to the spare room, that’s all.’
‘Ah, well, that’s a shame. She’s a good girl. Bit quiet for my taste, but a sweet-hearted little thing. Marley was only saying yesterday it was past time for you to be settling down.’
Harry shook his head. ‘Marley has been trying to get me to settle down since I was fifteen bloody years old, Russ.’
Russ laughed. ‘What can I say? My lovely wife just wants everyone to be as blessed in love as she is.’
‘I’ll tell her you said that next time I see her!’
‘Don’t be grassing on me. This is men’s talk and you know the rule…’ Russ gave him an expectant look.
Harry rolled his eyes but he repeated the mantra Russ had taught him when he’d been trying to get Harry to open up to him. ‘What’s said in the kitchen stays in the kitchen.’
‘That’s right. Now then, we’ve got an hour before the juniors arrive so let’s have a talk through the menu as there are a few dishes could do with a refresh.’
They worked through each dish on the menu, discussing the pros and cons. Russ was an absolute data nerd, so he had software that tracked how many times each dish had been ordered in the past three months since they’d introduced the new menu as well as a breakdown of the cost of each dish. ‘You’d be better off with Liam crunching the numbers with you,’ Harry half-joked after Russ had reeled off a load of facts and figures.
He expected Russ to laugh but all he got in return was a scowl. ‘Don’t start that comparison nonsense, lad. You’re not here because you can read a spreadsheet – I can do that for myself well enough – you’re here because your instinct for flavours and ingredients is second to none.’ Russ pushed his tablet to one side and folded his brawny arms across his chest. ‘What’s got into you?’
