My Emma was right here. My Kate. The same person.
As I finally started absorbing that fact, I leaned down and kissed her, holding her to me, and this time, I really didn’t plan to ever let her go.
CHAPTER 34
KATE
Nate kissed me until every doubt and every worry had been wiped from my mind. Until my heart was racing and every nerve ending was lit up.
For him. Not CB.
Not because of history, confusion, or years’ worth of wanting, but because he, Nate Westwood, had always felt right. I couldn’t explain it even to myself. I had no idea why it had felt that way since the very first time he’d kissed me, but there was no way around it.
It was just a fact, and I was slowly making peace with it. So when he took my hand and led me upstairs to his bedroom without another word, I followed, not second-guessing or overthinking the decision at all.
Right now, in the midst of all this confusion, the extreme shock, and the absolute incredulity,hewas what I needed. Nate still felt like my port in this particular storm, and when we got upstairs to his bedroom, I didn’t even look around.
I just clung to the same hand I’d been holding all along and spun myself into his arms, sliding my own around his neck. When I pushed up on my tiptoes, my gaze locked on those blue eyes that had been more of a silvery-gray ever since we’d foundout. He slid his hands to the small of my back without hesitation and pulled me closer.
I pushed my hands into his hair and pulled him down, pressing a hard, meaningful kiss to his lips, but he lifted his head away before I could deepen it. “Kate, we don’t have to?—”
“I know,” I murmured against his mouth. “This isn’t about having to or being expected to. I just need to be with you right now, Nate. For whatever. Even if it’s just lying in bed together. It’s just that if we just lie there…”
“We’re both going to start thinking again?”
“Bingo.” My head cocked as I held his gaze, but I lowered down from my tiptoes, fitting myself against his front. “So what’s it going to be, Westwood? You want to think all night?”
“Fuck that,” he said, so confident he sounded almost fierce, but then his mouth was back on mine and his hands were tearing at my clothes.
Now that’s more like it.
This time, I undressed him just as urgently as he was getting me naked, but I didn’t feel as wild or as dazed. It was much more deliberate for me now, at the front of my mind that this was Nate—and I was Kate.
It had nothing to do with our alter egos when he pushed me down on the bed, following me without so much as skipping a beat. This felt so much more familiar, the same page we’d been on since the first time we’d kissed—as just ourselves.
Nate and I were back, our chemistry off the charts and the drama of the day melting away as he devoured my mouth just like he always did. Like I was an oasis in the middle of the desert. But it was also a little different this time, because now, we were both free.
There was no more guilt. As he slid his hand up my thigh, I moaned loudly when I realized this was it. I gasped as his fingersteased my entrance, my nails digging into his shoulders. “Shit, Nate. We’re not cheating anymore.”
He nipped at my lips. “We’re not thinking right now, remember? Stop it.”
As if to make sure he toppled my brain completely, he slid two fingers into me. My muscles tensed, my eyes sliding shut. In the same movement, I reached for him, wrapping my fingers around his hard cock and pumping him once, then again, as merciless as he was being with me.
We were all breath and teasing then, finally able to be together without anything weighing us down or making us hold back. After Nate had finally sheathed himself in a condom, he took my hands and looked into my eyes as he sank into me, feeding himself in one delicious inch at a time.
After stilling for just a beat, his jaw tensed, but he finally started moving and I matched his pace, squeezing his fingers and rolling my hips until he was hitting me everywhere I needed him to be. Our history ceased to exist in that moment, both of us so intently focused on the other that my own orgasm caught me by surprise when it stormed me like a freaking conquering army.
Moaning his name, I shattered around him, mercifully aware enough by the time he finally tumbled over the edge himself to see his lips part and his brow furrow with concentration. His hips thrust one final time, and then he relaxed above me, dotting kisses to my shoulder as our bodies calmed down.
After he’d taken care of the condom, he flipped off his bedroom lights and crawled back into bed with me, pulling me close and pressing a kiss to my forehead. “Sleep now, Katie. I’ve got you, okay? I’m not going anywhere.”
I cuddled into him, my hand on the side of his neck when I closed my eyes. “Neither am I, Nate. Try to get some sleep too, okay?”
He hummed his agreement, and although I thought there was no way I would be able to sleep tonight, I felt myself starting to drift immediately. Despite the insanity of the day, I knew I was safe in Nate’s arms, and somehow, I trusted that eventually we would work this all out together.
I woke up in the middle of the night, and for a moment, I didn’t know where I was. Panic flooded my veins as I became aware of my surroundings, a dark, unfamiliar room. Then I became aware of warmth at my back and the solid weight of an arm draped loosely over my waist, and everything came rushing back.
Nate. New York. Central Park. All of it.
