Or maybe it was me. Maybe I just felt different, because I really did. A strange knot formed in my chest as I sank down on my bed.
This is what I wanted, isn’t it? A minute to breathe. A second to think without him standing there looking at me like I’msomething he can’t quite figure out. So why do I suddenly feel so off?Stressed. Forlorn.
I pressed my hands into my thighs, forcing myself to take a deep, slow breath. Then another. And another. But they didn’t help as much as I’d hoped.
Eventually I reached into my purse and pulled out my phone, turning it over in my hands before unlocking the screen. I stared at it for a long moment, my pulse ticking just a little too fast, but it was time to get going.
I finally stood, deciding to walk to my destination. A walk would help. It was a fine day, after all, clear and bright, the kind of crisp New York morning that made the city feel full of possibility.
Grabbing my purse, I headed for the door, giving the apartment one last glance before striding out into the hallway. I locked up, determined to make sure everything was squared away before my move to Chicago.
There were still a few things left to wrap up here and I only had today to do it. There was nothing dramatic about that. Planes existed, and apparently, I was marrying into a family that even owned a few of them.
I could come back whenever I needed or wanted to, but still, as I walked out onto the sidewalk and slid my sunglasses over my eyes, my heart was beating a little faster than it should have. Like this might either be the start of something great—or the end of it.
CHAPTER 31
NATE
Igot to the fountain a few minutes early. Instead of playing it cool, I looked around in every direction, unable to stop myself. Any time I saw a woman around the right age, I wondered if it was her.
Emma.
The fountain sprayed in steady arcs, sunlight catching in the mist. People moved everywhere, tourists with cameras, joggers weaving through the crowd, and parents chasing kids too close to the water’s edge.
Part of me kept wanting to check my phone, just to make sure she was still coming. I wasn’t some nervous teenager about to get stood up for prom but I checked my watch anyway.
Still early. Okay. Breathe, man.
It didn’t even matter that she wasn’t supposed to be here just yet. My eyes still kept drifting to every woman who passed within twenty feet of the fountain. There was a blonde, but she ran over to a child and scooped him up, laughing as she buried her face in his hair.
I sighed.Obviously not her.
A few minutes later, a brunette strolled into view and I thoughtthatmight be her, but the next thing I knew, sheapproached a tour group and started speaking rapid fire in a different language.Probably not her either.
The next few were too old. Too young. Too confident about who they were looking for or too distracted.
Every time someone slowed down even slightly, my pulse kicked up before settling again. It was ridiculous. I didn’t have the first idea of what Emma looked like. She could be anyone. That was the whole point of finally meeting her after five years of knowing someone without ever really knowing them.
She’d been a constant in my life in a way almost nothing else had. Through work. Through family disasters. Through everything.
Emma had always been there.
Trapped behind a screen.
A fantasy. A dream just out of reach. And now?
Now Kate existed and I hated how simple the math had become, because if it came down to it and Ihadto choose, I already knew what I’d do.
I’d choose Kate.
The truth sat heavy in my chest, utterly undeniable. I didn’t want to pick apart what that said about me as a person, but Emma was, in a way, already in my past. A part of my history.
Kate was my present and my future. I knew that now, but I still exhaled slowly and checked my watch again.
Noon. Right on time.
I scanned the crowd, trying not to look like a man waiting for his life to change, but everyone around me just kept moving. Laughing. Talking. Existing like this was just another Sunday in the park.
