My insides turned to ice. “Odd? What was odd about it?”
“Apparently Kate seemed shaken. Jane said she looked thrown for a loop about the whole marriage thing and that she seemed pretty upset.”
I exhaled slowly, forcing the tension out through my nose.Thank God.
“She’s dealing with a lot right now,” I said. “Shit, it’s hard for me too and I’ve always known this was coming sooner or later. I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like for her. A couple weeks ago, she was telling me how archaic this whole tradition is, and now, she’s been roped into it.”
“Yeah. Jane is struggling with how to help her.”
“Jane doesn’t need to do anything. She barely even knows Kate.”
Colin raised an eyebrow at me. “That’s not how Jane works and you know it. Besides, if anyone can help someone navigate this circus, it’s her. She literally went through the same thing just a few months ago.”
“Yeah.” I sighed, regretting snapping at him. “I know she just wants to help. I think, uh, our situation is just a bit different to her and Alex’s, is all.”
“Maybe you should consider calling in cavalry for support,” he said carefully. “Trent. Jameson. Maybe Callum? They’ve all survived some version of this madness. It could help to talk to them.”
“Kate doesn’t need a committee,” I said.
“You’re assuming this is about her.”
My gaze snapped up to his. “Isn’t it?”
Colin gave his head a light, quick shake. “Look, I don’t know Trent or your cousins super well, but if I’m being honest, you and Kate don’t seem as sure about this as Jane and Alex did. If fact, based on what Jane said about Kate and what I’m seeing from you right now, both of you are pretty fucking conflicted.”
“Kate and I are strictly business, Colin. Neither of us need more pressure on this, and all those guys are so fucking happy, they give me cavities when I see them with their wives. Trust me, they won’t understand that Kate’s and my dynamic isn’t the same.”
“Maybe it could be.”
“Strictly business,” I repeated firmly. “Unlike my brother, my sister,andmy cousins, I’m not just saying that because I’m in denial. I’ve never touched Kate and I never will.”
His eyebrows shot up. “How can you say that? You’remarryingher, for God’s sake. Marriage is forever, Nate. You can’t seriously think that it’s all just going to be quick, casual meetings with her for the next fifty years?”
I opened my mouth to respond, but my phone buzzed against the table and the notification that lit the screen made me forget what we’d even been talking about.
Emma.
Everything in me tightened, torn between that familiar, age-old thrill of hearing from her and the reality that soon I’d stop speaking to her altogether. I picked up the phone, my thumb hovering for half a second before I opened the message.
Emma: I’m free to meet on Friday night. Anytime after seven. We should definitely talk.
Relief hit first, sharp and immediate, but dread followed immediately after, which was completely ludicrous. I’d been waiting five years to meet this woman. Yet as I stared at my phone, the only thing left to do tofinallymake it happen wasjust sending her a message agreeing, and I couldn’t stop thinking aboutKate.
“You good?” Colin asked. “You still haven’t answered my question and you’re staring at your phone like it might help you unlock the secrets to the universe.”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I quickly tapped out a message in response. “Just confirming a meeting.”
“Ah. It’s always work with you,” he said as guilt, anger, and a righteous sense of how unfair this all was spread through me.
Our drinks arrived and my phone sat quietly beside my glass, my confirmation that I’d meet her on Friday night pulsing in my periphery like a countdown. Emma and Kate. The future I’d always wanted and the future I’d just signed my name to.
Suddenly, all I could think about was how choosing either path meant someone was going to get hurt.
Including me.
At this point, especially fucking me. Because there is no right answer. There’s only ever going to be a disaster.
CHAPTER 18
