Torturing a man took time.
I knew that, not personally, but I had a general idea that the whole point of torture was that it took time to accomplish. Still, each time the clubhouse door opened, I looked up with hope, heart in my throat expecting to see Drew’s irreverent smile.
It wasn’t him yet.
It was always someone else in the same uniform but different hair. Different eyes. Same biker arrogance. Different biker smile. Demeanor. All of it. There were plenty of them obviously missing, very likely with Halloran, while those who were here stuck close for reasons I didn’t want to think about too hard, but I knew why.
Danger was all around. Unseen but acknowledged.
A shadow crossed over me just before a bottle was plunked down in front of me, followed by a shot glass overflowing with brown liquid. Then a woman with pink hair and sharp green eyes took the seat across from me. She radiated attitude and an odd, unexpected kindness that caught me off guard.
“Looks like you could use some calm down juice,” she said with a half-smile.
I blinked, then smiled despite myself. I lifted the shot. “Not sure it’ll help, but it damn sure can’t hurt. Thanks.”
“Raven,” she said, tapping her chest. “Falcon’s my brother.”
“Nice to meet you,” I replied, taking the shot and welcoming the burn. “Macy,” I said through the burn.
She studied me openly and without judgment. “So you’re the reason Vandal keeps everyone at arm’s length?”
Maybe not.Fire flared in my chest before I could stop it.
She laughed immediately. “Easy. I didn’t mean anything bad. I just meant that I always knew it was a girl. Just not the way I thought.”
I relaxed a fraction and nodded slowly when I got her meaning. “Yeah. It did the same thing for me.” I stared down at the bottle between my hands. “I foolishly believed we’d always have each other. If nothing else.” Losing Drew, being ripped away from my only friend, my only family, my only source of support. It had fucked me up in ways I was still discovering. I took another sip and told Raven about my friendship withDrew. “I made a series of bad decisions after that. Which, funny enough, led me right here.”
She sipped her beer. “And now you’re worried. Regretting it.” It wasn’t a question.
“Yeah,” I admitted easily. “I don’t… I don’t like this.”
She nodded like she understood perfectly. “Biker life, hell,MC life, takes some getting used to. If you’re strong enough for it, you can be happy here.”
“No,” I shook my head. “That’s not what I meant.” My throat tightened and I shared my fears with this stranger. “I don’t like Drew or any of these guys putting themselves in front of a bullet for me. Or doing things that could get them locked up. It doesn’t sit right with me.” I let out a low, shaky breath. “I never thought they’d find me,” I admitted.
“But they have,” Raven shot back quickly.
Her tone wasn’t cruel, but it was sharp. She spoke facts, not words meant to comfort. “The danger’s here,” she continued. “And more is coming.”
I met her gaze, recognizing a warning when I heard one. I’d been on the wrong end of more of those than I cared to admit.
“You’re here,” she said. “And they’re protecting you. Including my brother.”
I swallowed, seeing where this was going. “You want me to leave?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I want you to listen.” She leaned forward, her eyes searing. “Don’t let guilt make you do some dumb as fuck shit, yeah?” Her nostrils flared. “Don’t start thinking you’re better off on your own, because you’re not. Andworse, if you do that, they’ll try to find you which will leave others vulnerable. And last,” she said in a soft but fierce voice. “Don’t let yourself get lured away thinking you’re saving Vandal or the MC from your trouble.” Her eyes locked on mine. “You won’t be.”
I said nothing. What could I say to a speech like that?
“Do what you’re told,” she added, gentler now. “And take this time to start figuring out what your life’s gonna look like when this is all over.”
“If it ever ends,” I added quietly. Sarcastically.
She shook her head. “No,whenit’s over. Trust me.” Then she flashed an easy smile, that sharp look still shining in her eyes. “Drink up. Waiting for news is like sitting in the dentist chair while the fucker is running late.”
A laugh escaped before I could stop it and instead of feeling guilty that I was laughing while Drew was doing serious shit, I lifted my beer and took a long, fortifying sip. “Time does seem to be passing whenever the fuck it feels like it.”
Raven laughed again. “It does that, which is why we lean on each other when we have to.” She pointed around the room. “These women all love these men and this MC. They’re all worried some shit could go sideways and somebody won’t make it home. It happens and when it does, we’re here for each other. Most of the time it doesn’t happen and we celebrate the wins. It’s a lot,” she grinned. “But these fuckers are family.”
