“Mace?”
Even the sound of his voice woke up a part of me I thought, or maybe I feared, had died in that room with Diego Ruiz. There was this awareness that zipped down my spine andwrapped around my limbs. It was tight and electric, like my body was waking up after a long, dark winter.
Relief, hot and visceral, pulsed through me. I thought Ruiz had killed that part of me. It had been dead, not dormant, since I made my escape and now it was starting to wake up.
“Mace?” he repeated, now standing even closer. I took in the way his abs flexed with every breath he took. The round pink disks of his nipples. The dusting of hair on his chest and down the center of his belly.
There it is again.Lust smacked into me and with it came mortification at the way I’d been ogling him.
And on the heels of that came relief that I was able to feel anything sexual at all.
Feeling didn’t mean acting on it, but it was a start.
To feeling normal again.
To being me again.
Chapter Nine
Vandal
“I’d pay anything to know what you were just thinking.” The words were out before I could stop them. Macy stood at the counter, her cheeks flushed and black hair stuck, tempting me to reach out and touch her even though I knew I shouldn’t. This time, I reached out and tucked the stray lock behind her ear.
Based on the color of her skin, I could guessexactlywhat she’d been thinking and fuck, if that didn’t make me feel good.
She let out a shaky breath as she poured whatever was in the shaker into two glasses. “You really want to know?” I was sure she’d play coy or deny it altogether.
My brows shot up. “You’re actually gonna tell me?”
She nodded, that small, familiar smile curving the corners of her mouth. “No secrets, remember?” She gestured vaguely in my direction. “I was looking at all this and appreciating it. Like,reallyappreciating it. And my body reacted.”
My body reacted. Instantly.
“It was nice,” she added quietly, completely fucking unaware of the effect her words had on me. “I wasn’t sure if I’d feel anything like that again. It’s comforting to know he didn’t take that from me.”
When she handed me the glass, her fingers brushed against mine, casual and unafraid. Macy had never been afraidof me, not once in our lives, and that trust settled heavy and sacred in my chest.
That fact made me feel like an asshole because now all I could think about was what I wanted to do aboutthatreaction.
She was my oldest friend in the fucking world. My safe place, which was some shit I never thought I’d say but it was true. We’d slept side by side as kids with our backs pressed together as we shared our hopes and dreams for the future. We looked out for each other in the best ways we knew how. Hell, I could admit now that I’d always been a little in love with Macy back then, but we needed our friendship more than we needed anything else. Together we cobbled together something normal. Together, we survived.
Now, though I was noticing shit I shouldn’t be noticing, like the way her nipples pressed hard against that thin tank top, which told me she’d decided against a bra after her shower. The way I craved knowing all the details. What color were her nipples, brown or pink? What did they taste like? Fuck, I almost felt them on my tongue. I shook off the arousal. Hard. And then I forced my gaze to meet hers. “What do you want to do for dinner?” I asked because I had to focus on something tangible before I did something stupid.
Her smile softened, flickering with something that looked like disappointment before it faded. “We could cook. Or we could order in.” She shrugged. “Otherwise, I’m easy.”
We drank tasty but strong as fuck cocktails she made, two glasses at a time. We laughed and it was the easy kind that didn’t scrape at old wounds. It was just nostalgia and memories and the happy parts of the past.
Eventually the pizza and pasta we ordered showed up, along with the biggest piece of tiramisu either of us had ever seen. We ate until we were full and wearing smiles leftover from too much laughter. She sprawled on the couch first and then I joined her. At some point, Macy’s bare feet tucked under my thigh like they belonged there.
It was a perfect fucking night.
And I wished, God help me, that life could stay this way forever.
Fuck.That was like asking the universe to intervene and fuck up the peace and calm.
My phone buzzed on the coffee table and I glanced down, swallowing around the thick lump in my throat.
Slate: You at home?
