I suppose my normal ability to separate such an intimate act was similar to the way kink scenes weren’t overtly sexual, like a spanking or bondage could be scenes unto themselves.
How often did things go wrong because one partner didn’t delineate as well as the other?
I wasn’t sure if separation of kink and sex was the most liberating aspect of this experience or the scariest. Could I handle Penny getting spanked by someone else, even if it was non-sexual?
Could I accept not being everything to her? There I went again with my impulsive thoughts.
My therapist would say that was an excellent place to consider doing personal work… be open about trust and limits with your partner. Or a step further back… establish Penny as a partner before thinking about breeding her because apparently that’s my kink.
Also, probably not a good idea to tell her I had to go to a therapist. Not exactly confidence instilling.
Grasping for a dose of reality, I said, “You wanted to go for a walk and get some air… Is nature always calming to you?”
“As long as there aren’t too many people.”
“Agreed. Is that why you didn’t want to go straight to the petting zoo?”
She took a deep breath. “Yes, I’m fine being near groups of people, but beinginthe group gets overwhelming. Does that make sense?”
“They’re two entirely different things.”
“Thank goodness you get it.” She grabbed my hand and quickly let go. “Sorry.”
Enough of her apologizing. Taking her hand, I held it up between us and pointed to our union. “You never have to apologize for touching me. I guess I had an advantage getting information about you from Erika. Something you should know about me is that I love physical contact. Would you mind if we kept holding hands while we walk?”
She smiled, lowered our hands, and resumed walking.
Shit! I was so surprised that she allowed the hand-holding, it rooted my feet to the ground.
She’d taken a few steps. Our arms stretched between us. It wasn’t until she stopped and looked back at me that I finally got my feet in motion.
Without missing another beat, she said, “Anyway, thank you for understanding about being around people. It’s not so bad if I know them and like them, but otherwise, my system shuts down.”
“Completely logical. Not everybody needs to be the center of attention.”
“Or wants to.”
“Exactly.” Where had she been all my life?
As we neared the petting zoo, a group of guests in cute dresses came from the other direction and stopped at the spot we were heading toward.
Penny stutter stepped—enough of a hint for me. I squeezed her hand and said, “Let’s go to the other end.”
Her easy compliance felt right. If I could learn her tells this well in such a short time, how much?—
“Stella!” Penny’s eyes lit up as she extended her free hand to everyone’s favorite cow, or at least that’s what it seemed in the few days we’d been working here. How did she know the animals’ names already?
She continued, “There has to be a backstory for how Stella got her name.”
“I know how Stella got her groove.”
Penny angled her head up at me.
“Actually, I don’t. I never watched the movie. I can ask around about the cow’s name, though.”
“Thanks, could you check on Howard the Duck, too?”
“Anything you want.”
