Jack’s lips part in surprise. “Oh.”
I shift uncomfortably. “Right, so…”
“Do you need a drink, honey?” Lana asks, directing the question at me.
“No, I drove.”
“I have some virgin mojito; we were going to have some before we left.”
“Yes, please.” Lana makes the best mocktails. Great for a summer night where the heat won’t quit. Getting drunk makes the heat worse, I swear.
She touches my forearm gently as she passes. “It’s okay, you know. Having multiple partners.”
“It’s not cheating, is it? What do they call it? Open relationship?” I love how hard Jack’s trying to be supportive, but I’m not sure he listens to himself sometimes when he talks.
“It’s not like that. I don’t think?” What if it is? Are they seeing other people? No. No, there’s no way. Not with the way they all look at each other. I don’t think that would end well.
Well, I guess I was another person, wasn’t I? When Hunter went on a date with me? Xavier and Miles were quick to swoop in and assert their claim. And then somehow, I was dragged into all of it. I can’t even begin to explain all that. “They’re all together, and I’m… with them?”
“Why do you keep saying that like it’s a question?” Jack asks. “Are they just fucking with you?” Red spreads across his cheeks. “Not in the sexual way. I meant—”
“I know what you meant.”
“Okay, good. I’m not doing another birds-and-bees talk with you.”
“I was traumatised enough, thanks.” Not that Dad’s was any better. Mum’s was somehow even worse than that.Make sure you use protection, test regularly, and only kiss on the mouth if you’re in love.Which then devolved into Dad explaining thatPretty Womanis not the movie we should base our romantic expectations on. And something about strawberries. They tried their best.
I understood better once I was experiencing it for myself. And I never told Mum I kissed boyfriends on the mouth, even when I only liked them. Though when I was twenty, I felt the need to tell Mum that I gave serious consideration to being a sex worker, but that ultimately, I decided I wanted to keep teaching, in case she had dreams of me being like Julia Roberts’ character. I’d never pull that dress off the way she does anyway.
“They’re not, um, messing with me.” I don’t think so, though I can’t be sure. Best not to say anything about that.
Jack studies me for a moment that feels like a lifetime of scrutiny. What is he looking at? What is heseeing?
“Do you remember that time at your sixth-grade graduation, where they were giving out lollipops and told you to only take one, but you took two?”
A memory that will forever live in my shame box. To be fair, I sawapple-flavoured ones, and those were hard to find. Probably still are. I made a split-second decision that wasn’t my best. “So?”
“You were a terrible liar then, and you’re a terrible one now.”
Drat. “I don’t know, okay? I don’t know.”
Lana hands over a virgin mojito topped with a lemon wedge and a colourful umbrella. Hers is the same. I could try for a thousand years and never be as elegant, or extra, as her. Shelives life to the absolute fullest, keeping my brother on his toes and bringing light to every room. If I ever have to choose between her and Jack, I’m choosing her, hands down.
“Have you tried asking them?” she asks, swirling her umbrella.
“... No.” That’s too scary. What if they say, “Yeah, this was fun, but see you later.”? I’m not sure how to open myself up to that kind of rejection. I mean, it’s not over yet, is it? The threat of the man who sent people to shoot me—or Hunter; we’re still not clear on who the target was—is still there. I don’t know if his man Lester has talked since I left Hunter’s earlier today, but I left before anyone was up, so there’s that too.
No one has contacted me asking where I am, and no one showed up at school even though I stayed an hour after the kids left, so I assume they already know. The same way that Xavier and Miles seem to already know everything about me. Keeping tabs somehow.
Or maybe they don’t care one way or another. Except that can’t be right, after the trouble they went to. Hunter even sent his brother to take me to a safe house. Why would they do that if they don’t care? Too many unknowns. After what happened last night, I just… don’t know what to do. I thought talking to my brother would help. He’s always been the one I go to.
“I can see your brain moving like a rat in a hamster ball,” Jack says, shaking his head in fond exasperation.
“Do you mean the spinning wheels?”
“Potato, potahto.”
“They’re not even the same thing.”
