Spencer drops into his chair and rolls backward, hitting the wall with athud. “I’m always nice.”
“Are you?”
“I’m offended you think I’m not.”
I grunt in response. Spencer is perfectly nice when he wants something. He has the ability to twist people around and convince them to do anything, with enough time and incentive.
“Six said he sent the case files over.” Spencer checks the time. “We can go check out the body today, too, if you want?”
“Sure.”
Unlike most desk setups, we share one long desk, instead of separate. When we sit, we’re in reach of each other, sharing space. Even being across a room from him is too far. The second I settle in my chair beside him, he grips the armrest and pulls me closer, a knee between my legs. “Ken.”
It takes me a second to answer, distracted by his lips. “Yeah?”
“I love you.”
My heart stutters, and my gaze flicks up to his. Dark-brown irises that are almost black, filled with so much fucking soul, sometimes I can’t breathe. His lips part a fraction when I brush his blond hair away from his forehead. He looks too young, too earnest. Like he’s apologising to me when he has no reason to.
“I love you too.”
His thumbs are soft against my cheeks as he cradles my face and closes the distance between us. The light pressure of his lips is heaven, and my gut clenches in response, all my focus on where we meet. What I wouldn’t give for him to open his mouth, to give memore. To bridge the gap that will always be there. That final step he can never take. It’s enough, even when it isn’t.
His breath ghosts over mine, and my own hands move of their own volition, resting either side of his neck, feeling the unsteady thrum of his heartbeat.
He leans his forehead against mine, eyes closed. Resting there. My fingers curl around to the back of his neck and hold him there, soaking in the feel of him. This is all I need in life, right here.
“Tell me.”
The words are too soft, pleading. I can’t resist him. I’ve never been able to.
I know what he’s asking. My nightmares. “I think—I think about what might have happened if we hadn’t gotten you back last year. If they’d discarded you the way we thought they had. Jericho and Six, they told me, when they found the abandoned car, that they thought you might be in the trunk.” The thickness in my throat makes it hard to get it all out. The nightmares follow me into my waking hours, and they’re impossible to escape. I’m glad I wasn’t there, and at the same time, the feeling of uselessness chokes me. I should have been there. I should have protected him. I’d failed at my job, and worse, I’d failedhim. My mistake could have cost me everything, and it’s only pure dumb luck that it hadn’t.
He clasps my hand under his and holds my palm to his lips, lingering there. “They didn’t hurt me.”
“That’s a lie.”
I know what he looked like when they pulled him out of there. Sebastian had gotten off easy compared to what they’d done to Spencer. There’d been no purpose to the damage; Spencer didn’t have the information they wanted, and they knew it. If the asshole responsible wasn’t rotting in a cell, I’d have killed him myself. Some days I still think about it. It wouldn’t take much. Prison security isn’t enough to keep me out.
“The only thing that hurt me was not knowing if you were okay.” He traces my bottom lip. “All I could see was you crushed against the car, and all I wanted was for you to open your eyes and look at me.”
“I am looking at you,” I murmur. I’m alwayslooking at him. There’s nothing about him that’s not worth looking at. Nothing that could ever make me look away.
“Don’t ever stop.” His next kiss is more insistent, lips moving with urgency. For a breathless moment I almost think it’s more, that it’sdifferent. That there’s meaning behind it there’s never been before.
Except the smile in his eyes when he lifts his head is the same as it always is.
Warm, loving, and missing that last spark.
Chapter six
Spencer
The more I stareat the two photos side by side on my monitor, the more they blur together. A persistent ache has set up shop behind my right eye, and I don’t think it’s going anywhere anytime soon.
Leaning my elbows on the desk, I rub my forehead and blink to clear my gaze. “What do you think?”
“I think you need to put your glasses on.”
