I’ve been waiting for over an hour. I’m beyond pissed. It’s been getting worse between us. I don’t know if I can keep doing this.
It’s been two years, and I’ve still never been to America. Cole has been plenty, but he never takes me. Again, I’m starting to think I’m the other woman.
Something is just off. I wanted to listen to music in his car the other day while he jumped out to pump gas. I was confused and annoyed when his password he gave me didn’t work.
I tried to shrug it off as him getting a new phone, but it went off in my hand with a text as I sat there. I sat in complete shock,dropping it back into the holder when he went to get back in the car. I can still see the words in my head.
A:Our girl is missing you. She wouldn’t go down for a nap without me sending you a pic of her new dress you bought her.Sheloves it.Isn’t she cute?
I never got to see the picture. I don’t think I would have been able to remain as calm as I did if I had. I don’t know much about Arnez, but I know the text wasn’t from him, as I had thought the first time I saw a text fromA.
He and Seán were in the other car, as they had been in the last year. I played it off as if I didn’t see it when Cole picked up his phone and smiled as he checked his text. I was too shocked and sick to my stomach to ask about it, so I didn’t say anything.
Cole always makes sure to use condoms with me. When I mention babies and when we’ll start to have our own, he always says he wants to be married to me first. I’ve accepted that.
I never fought him on it. However, now I have to wonder if he already has a baby with someone else. Is that the reason he doesn’t want them with me?
Let’s face it, we’re not using condoms because I might give him an STD. Cole knows where I am at all times. I’ve never even thought about cheating on him.
Although if he knows he’s sleeping around, that could be the reason he doesn’t forget to use them. How kind of him.
He would be late for our date. I had planned to confront him tonight. I’ve had time to calm and gather my thoughts.
This is the end, I want out. I grab my mobile to give him a piece of my mind. I don’t even care if he answers. I’ll leave it all in his messages.
“Hello, baby,” he answers to my surprise.
I pause, feeling bad as his tired voice comes through the line. Maybe I should cut him some slack. He does have a lot on his plate.
There could be a reasonable explanation for all of this. I spend a lot of time alone when I’m not working at the pub. I could be allowing the drunken stories I’ve heard to influence my thoughts.
“Deja? Baby, ya there?”
I go to answer, but a child’s cry in the background cuts me off. Suddenly, I can hear him moving away from the sound quickly. I knit my brows.
“Um, yeah. I’m here. Where are ya? Will ya be here soon? If not, I’m thinking about heading to the pub.”
“I’ll be there soon. Give me another hour, two max.”
“Cole,” a female calls in the background.
“Baby, I need to take care of something. I’ll text ya when I’m on my way.”
“Yeah, okay.”
“I love ya. I’m going to make up for today. I promise.”
I roll my eyes and hang up. My mind darts in a million different directions. My mother’s words begin to ring in my head.
I don’t know why I allowed myself to trust him so easily. Something isn’t right and I refuse to allow myself to ignore it any further.
***
“Yer not dressed,”Cole says as he enters the house.
I glare at him like he’s crazy. I put on my pajamas not long after I hung up with him. I’m not interested in going anywhere with him.
I plan to pack my things in the morning and find a new place to live once I get to the pub. I’ve even thought about heading back to Scotland.
