I’m not sure I can do this.
Loch’s here somewhere, looking for me.
He said he’s been here before, and oddly, I’m not bothered. How could I be? It’s in the way he calls meBabygirl. I can hear it in his voice—I’m his, and he’s mine.
I’d be frightened we’re happening so fast if it didn’tfeel like fate. If I didn’t trust that my mom sent him to me. There’s no other way to explain how our stars aligned.
With excited hands, I smooth my dress. “So, what do we do? Just stand here and look around?”
We’re on the edge of the crowd, and I thought I’d be insecure in spaghetti straps and silk. That I’d fumble wearing strappy white heels. Or curling my hair and putting on red lipstick was desperate. Wearing no bra and panties was delulu.
I thought I’d be an awkward fish out of water. As usual.
But I thought wrong.
I’m wet and swimming in sudden confidence. I’m in my place.
Maybe it’s the mask’s anonymity; no one knows who I am. Maybe it’s my company; I trust my best friend. Maybe it’s the sex in the air; the club is warm, almost steamy with sandalwood-scented air. Dim lights glow. Acrylic tables gleam. Furniture’s arranged in groups, with bodies strewn across it.
I search the crowd for Loch.
How hard can it be to miss a man his size?
“Let’s get a drink.” Vale tugs my hand, guiding me through the crowd. “You can keep looking around, and I’ll look like a unicorn.”
“A unicorn?”
Erotic music thumps low; we don’t have to shout. Moans and grunts harmonize with the driving beat.
“I’m a heterocurious couple’s dream,” Vale explains, wedging our way to the long luminous bar on the far side of the club. “All I want is an orgasm, and all they want is a threesome. No names. No strings.”
“No love?” I shoulder past a group of men in black suits, surprised by how I turn their heads, so I focus on Vale. “Don’t you want love too?”
She turns to me, grinning, while we wait for a bartender. “Like howyou’vefound love?”
My eyes sparkle, guilty, while I state facts: “I met him aweekago.”
Is that all it’s been? Why does it feel like forever when you’re falling for someone?
“Sometimes, that’s all it takes.” Vale shrugs. “A week, a day, even a minute. It’s called neural synchrony when you instantly click with someone. And you, my hunty.” She flicks my lace-covered nose. “Are clicking the hell out of your man. I’ve never seen you look like this.”
I laugh. “It’s called a bondage hood.”
“It’s called glowing, and you are.”
“Thanks to the vanilla-scented body glitter you made me use; I’m a giant sugar cookie.”
“All the better to eat.” Vale grins. “Promise me you’ll let him please you tonight.”
“Please me? How will he even find me?”
I glance down the crowded bar.
Most are focused on others, but a few stare our way. They’re probably hungry for Vale. She drips with sex appeal, while I’m not sure if my cherry has juice.
But there is a guy in a spiked leather hood who just walked up to the bar. He won’t stop leering at me. It’s not Loch. This guy is too small and giving a pervy vibe. Ironic to say in a sex club, but I trust my instinct.
I look away.
