CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
ALENA
I tug gentlyto climb off him, to stand and tell him the truth.
If I’m his queen, then it’s what I should do, right?
Stand in my truth.
But he yanks me back. “No, Babygirl. We stay like this. Tethered. Talking. And working it out. Tell me, and no matter what it is, I’ll still love you.”
Now, I know how he felt.Hating the pain that comes with the truth, but you can’t stop it.
Not if you want love.
“Loch.” I cup his hands, claiming my hips, needing to hang on to him desperately. I need a chance, like I’m giving him. “Michael Cummings, my godfather, was my first.”
He blinks.
Fuck, this sucks, hurting him, but…
You’re a queen, Alena. Act like it.
“Yes, your brother, Axel. But I didn’t know he was your brother. And it was one time, years ago, andIasked him. It’s not his fault. It was mine.”
He pulls back, disbelieving. “Axel?”
“Yes.” A tear falls with my confession. “I felt so ugly. So damaged after that day at the beach. I was never kissed, never asked out, never touched. Just bullied. Until I made it to twenty-one and couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t want to be a sad virgin, so I begged Michael. I mean… Axel, to take my virginity, and he helped me.”
His pause is long. His fists, balling against my hips. “Did youlovehim?”
“No. And he didn’t love me. It was a pity fuck.”
His nostrils flare. “Did hehurtyou?”
“Never. Honestly, in retrospect, I put him in a tough spot. I was crying, and it’s like he couldn’t say no to me.” I palm his chest. It’s heaving. “But this waswaybefore me and you. Before him and Ruby. It was so long ago, and it didn’t feel wrong until I found out he’s your brother.”
His voice drops, growling, “He’s your father’s brother, too, not by blood, but you know it doesn’t matter. We’re gonna kill him.”
I fist his shirt. “Don’t hurt him. Don’t let my dad hurt him either. I’m tired of the fighting. Axel did nothing wrong. It was me. Ibeggedhim.”
Rage ignites his aqua eyes. His muscles tense underneath me. Good god, this man looks lethal when provoked.
“Did Axel start it? Did hekissyou?”
“No, not on the mouth. You were my first kiss. You’ve felt like my first everything.”
My head is pounding. My rationale, seeking relief.
“God, Loch, I don’t want to share the details. I’m not asking them about Delphine and snatching hair over it. She was your first, your brother’s wife, and I understand. It’s all I need to know.”
I cup his clenched jaw, sighing. “Look, I love you, and you love me. So, it doesn’t matter how we got here; weare. We’rehere with me dreaming about a dozen of our babies in a log cabin with you.”
He mutters, “It’s not funny, Alena.”
“No. It’s Fate.” I soften. “It’s what we’ll name our first daughter.”’
“Goddammit.” He cups my neck, pulling my forehead to his. I lose count of the breaths it takes for him to see it like I do; our future, not our past.
