Parker sighs, shaking their head. “It’s okay. We can talk about it, but let’s get cleaned up first.” They narrow their eyes at me, then shift their attention to Ben. “But thenI’mgoing in the middle of the cuddle pile. I’m gonna need it.”
Ben brushes his knuckles along Parker’s jaw. “Anything, Cotton Candy.”
We all get up to go clean ourselves up, and when we’re back in bed, with Parker tucked between us, they let out a soft sigh, then turn to me with a pout. “Play with my hair, please.”
My fingers sink into the thick strands without a second’s hesitation. “Your pink is fading,” I murmur softly.
“Maybe I’ll color it something else this time. Green or orange, so you’ll stop calling me Cotton Candy.”
Ben chuckles. “You’ll always be Cotton Candy to me. No matter what color your hair is.”
Parker groans. “Ugh, you suck. But maybe I’ll change it to purple.”
“Yeah?” I ask, intrigued. “Why purple?”
“Seems to be the color that comes up the most around you two.”
My heart flails wildly in my chest. “I love that, Lovebug.”
Ben hums. “Me too. You’d look perfect with purple. Hell, I think you’d look perfect with any color.” Parker lets out a little huff that makes Ben laugh. “What? I’m serious.”
“I’m not sure you’ve ever been serious a day in your life.” The snarky tone of Parker’s voice makes me smile.
Ben raises his head, looking down at Parker. “I’m very serious about you, Cotton Candy.” He lifts his gaze to mine. “And you.”
My throat goes dry, and I have to swallow hard a couple of times before I can get any words out. “I’m very serious about you two as well.”
We both look at Parker. “Yes, yes. We all like each other very much.” They roll their eyes, but a smile tugs at their lips. “Okay, so what do you want to know?” they ask, expression turning serious.
“Whatever you feel comfortable sharing.”
Parker lets out a long, drawn-out sigh. “So my parents are kind of hippies, which I’ve already told you. But growing up, we lived in this like commune-type place.” They chuckle. “Not like a cult, though. Anyway, Lincoln and I met in kindergarten, and we were inseparable right from the start.”
I drag my thumb along Parker’s temple, tracing the small vein that disappears into their hairline
“We were always together. Playing outside, spending the night at each other’s houses. He was like a brother and a best friend, all rolled into one. We did everything together.”
Ben lays his hand on Parker’s stomach, spreading his fingers wide, and after a second, Parker rests their hand over Ben’s.
“We were probably… eleven or so when my feelings for him started to change. Just little shit, you know. Kids that young don’t know what love really is, but it was as close to love as I could imagine at that age. Any time we’d touch, I’d get these little fuzzy feelings in my stomach, and my cheeks would always get really hot, and it just kind of progressed from there. My parents were all ‘love is love’ and ‘listen to the universe’ and shit, so it was never even a question for me whether I was allowed to feel that way.
“I just knew I really liked him. By about twelve, he started acting like he felt the same way, and at thirteen we were throwing around the love word and sharing our first kiss.”
Trailing my fingers through Parker’s hair, I nod. “That sounds really sweet.” I never experienced anything like that. At thirteen, I was sure that God would send me to hell for even thinking about kissing someone.
Parker smiles. It’s wistful and sad, but then they nod. “Yeah, it really was. Anyway, we were probably way too young for it, but by fifteen, we were having sex, and I was pretty sure I was gonna spend the rest of my life with him.”
It’s probably rude to be glad that didn’t happen. I can’t even bear to think of what I’d be missing out on. If the look on Ben’s face is anything to go by, he feels the same.
Parker shrugs. “But then, I just felt… wrong inside. Like there was something about my insides that didn’t quite match my outsides, you know? And that’s when I learned what nonbinary meant. I mean… that’s the short version of it, anyway. At first, Lincoln was supportive. Just said he loved me, and nothing would changed. You know, that type of shit.”
With a pained laugh, Parker shakes their head. “God, he was so fucking mean to me. I’ll never understand it. He could have just broken up with me. But instead, it turned into him picking on me abouteverything.”
Anger rises in my stomach.
“Like I said before, at first, it was just small things, right? Calling meheand then apologizing and correcting himself, but thenit turned into refusing to even hold my hand and picking out my clothes so I could be dressed the wayhewanted. Not wanting me to wear makeup.”
A small smile blooms on their face. “My mom taught me how to do my makeup. It was really sweet. One of my favorite memories of us, honestly.”
