Laughing, he mimes zipping his lips. He seems larger than life, and unlike the majority of people who come to our class to get drawn while naked, he stood there supremely confident and unashamed. I’ve seen what he’s packing.Obviously.There’s clearly no need for shame.
For another second, I debate making some excuse and just ducking out, but fuck. This man didn’t assume my pronouns. He didn’t make me feel shitty or undesirable, and dammit, I deserve to get laid every now and then. I inhale a deep breath. “Alright, let’s go.”
His eyes light up with his triumphant grin, and I follow him down the hall. My mom’s voice in my head rings out, warning me about being careful and protecting myself. She and my dad are both all about peace and love—until someone fucks with me, that is.
“I live in a dorm,” he says when he steps outside, gesturing broadly to our left. “Alliance Hall, but my roommates should be out right now.”
“I have an apartment,” I hear myself saying. “It’s private. It won’t take more than a couple of minutes to walk there.”
If I’m doing this, I’m not about to take any chances.
Ben shrugs. “Works for me. Let’s go then.”
He follows me silently as I walk toward my apartment. It’s strange almost. My best friend, Darcy, thinks I’m constantly doing this, and yeah, sometimes I need to scratch an itch, but he has no idea how much I… let’s say, over-embellish. He’s convinced that I frequently invite football players into my bed, and sure… I get plenty of invitations, but I rarely take anyone up on them. It’s too much work.
There’s too much speculation about my body. It’s uncomfortable… and after my ex, it’s hard to even try to open myself up like that. Ben got some major points, though, by not assuming my gender.
My stomach does a nervous flip when I unlock the door and step into the living room.
It’s clear that Ben is much more experienced in this than I am because as soon as we walk in the door and I shut it behind us, he corners me against it.
My heart hammers against my chest walls, my stomach twisting as he leans in. I think I’m expecting him to just dive in. He seems like the type of guy to take what he wants, but he doesn’t. His nose bumps mine, and he hovers over my lips.
“What are you comfortable with?”
The question takes me aback. “What do you mean?”
He moves back, putting space between us, and I suck in a sharp breath. “Like with your body. What parts of you are you comfortable with me touching?”
His hazel eyes are sincere and sparkling with warmth.
“Uh—all of me, I guess?”
I canfeelmy damn heart pounding in my ears, each beat echoing through my skull.
Ben smiles. “Okay, Cotton Candy. Sounds good to me.”
He leans in again, and without another ounce of hesitation, slots his lips over mine. My breath catches, and my head swims. He tastes vaguely like vanilla. I have no idea why. It’s such a strange thing. It’s strange enough that it momentarily stops my freakout. Too bad good things never last.
I press a hand against his chest, and as soon as he realizes I’m pushing him away and not pulling him closer, he breaks the kiss.
“I have a dick,” I blurt out in a rush.
Ben cocks his head, studying me. “Okay. Cool. Me too.”
I shake my head. “No, I mean. I know I—I don’t want you to think I’m false advertising or anything.”
The way he’s studying me feels intense, like if he looked long enough, he’d see beneath the front I put up for the world. It’s unsettling and unnerving.
“Okay,” he says slowly. “That doesn’t matter to me. Is your dick off-limits for touching?”
What?“No. It’s fine.”
“Okay, then.” He graces me with another smile, then dips his head again.
This time, the kiss gets more heated, and I’m surprised to find that the moans I’m hearing are coming from me. My very interested dick is tenting the dress I’m wearing. The panties I have on are cute, but not much for concealing a hard-on.
I can’t believe I’m doing this.
