She pulls me into a hug, standing on her tiptoes to wrap her arms around my neck. I try to soak it in. Commit it to memory. Especially since this might be the last hug I’ll get.
My stomach lurches violently. I need to get this out of the way. Now. I won’t be able to relax until I know, and maybe not even then, depending on how the conversation goes.
Pulling away, she greets Ben and Parker. Parker tried to dress down, but when they walked out of their bedroom in a button-up and jeans, I sent them right back in to change. I’m not ashamed of them, and I’m not Lincoln. I will never,everexpect them to tamp down who they are for the approval of others. Not even for my mother’s. Especially not for my mother’s.
“I’m Mary,” she says, smiling broadly even as her eyes keep darting to Parker.
They stand with their head held high, as they should, holding out a hand. “Hi. I’m Parker.”
Mom shakes their hand, then turns to Ben. “And I’m Ben.”
“It’s so nice to meet you both. Please come in and have a seat.”
I’m half-numb, so I barely even register my feet carrying me across the room. Barely notice the couch cushion under me. Hardly feel it dipping on either side as Ben and Parker sit down beside me.
“I’m so glad you decided to come visit. I’ve missed—”
“I’m not straight.” I blurt the words out in a rush, my throat aching with the weight of holding them back. Her eyes widen, but she stops talking. Parker inhales sharply beside me, and Ben carefully angles himself to let his foot touch mine. The silent support is more important than he could ever realize.
Mom and I stare at each other, her in shock, me in resignation. She clears her throat, then looks first at Ben, then at Parker. “I’m so sorry, boys. Can you please give me a moment with my son?”
I open my mouth to correct her when Parker places a hand on my arm. “Only if Landon wants us to go.”
I don’t. Not at all. But I also don’t want her to make them feel bad. The things I heard growing up in church were bad enough. I don’t need either of them to hear her repeat that hateful rhetoric. Turning to Parker, I nod. “I’ll be okay, Park.”
They eye me like they don’t quite believe that. But I do. Because no matter what happens here today, I’ll still have both of them. I’ll have West and Darcy. I’ll have Devon and Levi. And that’s more than enough. “Really. I’ll come get you soon.”
Ben stands first, holding his hand out to Parker. For a few seconds, Parker just stares at me. “I’m sorry, Mary,” they finally say, turning to look at her. “Can you givemea moment with your son?”
She sputters but nods, too polite to do anything else.
Getting up, I follow both of them outside in somewhat of a trance. The second we step onto the porch, Parker slams hard against my chest, and Ben wraps himself around me from behind.
I let myself be held up between them for a moment before sighing.
Parker tilts their head back, staring up at me. “I love you.” The words knock the air right out of my lungs. “I’m in love with you, and no matter what happens in there with your mom, I’ll still love you.”
Ben’s arms tighten around me, and he ducks his head to nuzzle my throat. “I feel the same way. Fuck, Lan. Even if things go sideways, I love you. Nothing will change that.”
I inhale raggedly, trying to keep myself from breaking down. “God, I love you both too. So much. More than I thought it was possible to love anyone.”
“I love you too, Ben,” Parker whispers. “Ugh. I can’t believe I’m confessing my love to you guys on a damn porch, but I do. I’m so in love with you. Thank you both for being patient with me. And I’m sorry I made this so unromantic. I just…” They blink, eyes welling with tears. “I just needed you both to know.”
Ben hums. “My sweet Cotton Candy. I love you too. Thankyoufor giving us a chance to show you.”
Parker lets out an annoyed groan. “This is the worst. Okay…” They square their shoulders, staring at me yet again. “Your mom’s words can’t hurt me. Don’t worry about correcting her. It’s a bridge we can cross later, okay? Right now is about you.”
I nod. “I don’t like it, but okay.”
“We’ll be right here,” Ben says softly.
I can tell that neither of them wants to let me go. Not really, but they both do, and only when they’re sitting side by side, Parker resting their head on Ben’s shoulder, do I turn and go back into the house.
Mom’s still sitting on the couch, and as soon as she sees me, she stands. “I need you to explain, Landon.”
I sit down, taking a deep breath. “I’m in love with Ben and Parker.” She sinks slowly into her seat, eyes trained on me, face giving nothing away. “I can’t…” I swallow hard, throat convulsing. “Hide… anymore. I can’t hide who I am. Or what I want. I don’t go to church meetings because all I hear about is how much God hates people like me. How muchyouhate people like me.”
Her brows furrow. “Are you telling me you’re gay, Landon?” Her voice is soft—soothing. The same tone she’d use when I was young and scared after a nightmare.
