We’re sitting in Jackson Square as we eat our treats, except for Emily, who’s breaking up pieces of her pastry and giving it to the pigeons. Meanwhile, the boys are running around the fountain, laughing.
“Em! Just eat it. The pigeons don’t need your food,” Seth yells.
“But they hungy, daddy! Look!”
The number of birds is growing by the second, surrounding the toddler.
“That’s enough, Em,” he says more forcefully.
He stands, pulls out a package of wipes from his backpack, and walks over to his daughter. He snags the treat and tosses it to the birds before cleaning her hands of sugar. “Too many birds, Peanut. They’re going to take you up in the air and fly you away.”
Once she’s cleaned up, we gather the kids and get on a carriage ride in front of the square. I thought the kids would prefer it to walking around.
The boys sit up front, and Seth and I sit in the back with Emily, who’s on his lap.
The horse walks us through old neighborhoods and shops, lined with trees, palms, and lush gardens. It’s a bit touristy, but it’s relaxing. The clopping of hooves, the warm breeze, and sitting next to the cutest preppy guy this side of New Orleans make me love this place even more.
Then, to my surprise, Seth grabs my hand, which is resting on my lap, and threads our fingers together. I look at him, and he smiles at me.
“You sure?” I ask.
He looks at his children, then at me. “Yeah.”
I lift his hand and kiss the back of it.
Is it weird for me to start a new relationship after promising myself never again? A little. I thought I’d bring trust issues to the table, but not for a second do I distrust Seth. His aura says ‘reliable’ and ‘dependable.’ Hell, I’m not even nervous about our talk tonight.
Honestly, I should’ve been working today. I’m behind on everything. My team is scrambling to keep up with my absence. But I wanted to do this. If I’m going to be a guardian, Braeden has to be my priority. I also can’t prioritize him if I don’t have a job. How do other parents do it? Seth clearly does. He has multiple businesses and three kids. He’s clearly a genius at multitasking.
Bourbon Street is one of the most famous areas of the French Quarter, but it’s touristy. Once you get past it, there are other beautiful sections and rows of old homes painted in bright colors, with balconies covered in potted ferns or bougainvillea.
I lean forward and look next to Seth to find the little hellcat passed out, tucked into his side. I never thought I’d be comfortable around a bunch of kids. Perhaps I’d been so opposed to them because of my upbringing, and I was afraid of turning into my mother. That’s most likely. It’s not easy, but I’m not afraid anymore. That’s a lie. I’m still terrified I’ll fuck it all up and ruin Braeden’s life forever. But I don’t hate it either.
“You okay?” Seth asks, squeezing my hand.
“Yeah, I’m pretty good.”
He smiles and rests his head on my shoulder. The intimacy stirs something in my gut and heart, and I like feeling it.
Now, to figure out how to balance life as a father figure, run a business, and manage a new relationship.
I’m afraid to let Braeden stay at my house alone while I talk to Seth. It’s a school night. His kids are already sleeping, but Seth assured me that at his age, leaving him alone for an hour or two is fine. He even lent me one of his monitors, which I set up to keep an eye on Braeden, so I didn’t worry. I’m right next door and can always get home quickly if I need to.
It’s best to talk while we’re alone. Then we can watch an adult movie, as Seth calls them, something he hasn’t seen in years, apparently. Not the porn kind, but the kind that kids aren’t allowed to watch. Although porn could be fun.
Seth hands me a cold glass of white wine and snuggles in next to me on the couch with his feet tucked under him. I wrap my arm around him and take a sip of wine.
“Do you want to start?” I ask him.
“I never expected to like you as much as I do,” he begins.
“Uh, same here.”
“I think by now you know me well enough to know that I’m a relationship guy. Honestly, I thought I’d struggle with intimacy again after Malcolm, and Leo too. I’m ready for it. I want it.”
“I sense a ‘but’ coming on.”
“But… you’re not a relationship guy. I mean, I get why. How is this going to play out in your mind? You and me? What do you want to see happen, Joker?”
