I wince. “Ouch.”
“Yep. That one particularly stung.”
“Jesus, and to think the instructor knew your ex was taken at the time. Or did he? Maybe your ex lied to him, too.”
“He did know. It takes a special kind of person to drag you to take dancing classes while you’re sleeping with the instructor. Looking back, I’ve come to recognize Grant’s narcissism and selfishness. He always saw the world and the people in it centered around him. That’s when I also started to see my mother in him. I think how I was raised led me to gravitate toward someone like Grant. I didn’t see the signs until it was too late… after the fact."
“That’s… awfully insightful, Cal.”
“Not insightful. Patterns. Once you see them, you can’t unsee them. It took a swift kick to the proverbial nuts to recognize them.”
He spins me and dips me again. The song wraps up, and ‘The Way You Look Tonight’ plays next.
“Those patterns are what I saw in Leo. I took an instant dislike to him,” he continues.
“Oh. Why didn’t you say anything?”
“In hindsight, now that I know he’s hurt you, I would’ve intervened. At the time, the red flags weren’t enough to sway you. Besides, it’syour life, Tiger. You liked him. Anything I said wouldn’t have changed that. Why should you trust me? We haven’t known each other long enough. If someone had come to me and said Grant was cheating, I wouldn’t have believed them either. There would be seeds of doubt, but I’d eventually explain it away. He was quite the charmer. If he wanted you, he’d have you. Little did I know at the time that charming was how he manipulated.”
Calvin’s fingers dig into my back. It’s small, and he gives little away, but it’s enough to show that what his ex did to him still stings. “What eventually convinced you to see him for what he was?”
“One of his many lovers called me. He claimed he had no idea Grant was taken. When he found out that Grant had been in a relationship for over a decade, he broke it off and reached out to me. At that point, I had no choice but to confront Grant. The guy had too many details and pictures. I knew he wasn’t lying. I had to take a hard fucking look in the mirror that day, and decide what I was going to do about it.”
I rub my hand on his shoulder, soothing him since his body has grown taut. “Jesus. What did Grant say? Did he deny it?”
Calvin nods and frowns. “At first, but I knew he was lying and called him out on it. I wanted to fight the truth. I wanted to be in denial. I loved Grant with everything I had. Life with him was comfortable, and I’d invested a decade into the relationship. It wasn’t easy to let that go. Looking back, when he kept pushing us away from marriage, it should’ve been my first clue. Anyway, I ended up kicking him out that day. I was crushed down to my soul.”
“You have to be a cruel person to do something like that. I bet you have trust issues, huh? You said that before, right?” I know I would. It also puts him further out of reach.
Another spin and dip. “I did. I still do a little. Fucking around is easier. No emotions are involved, but I can still get that physical connection with someone else, albeit temporary.”
As we sway together, I pull him closer to me this time and rest my head on his shoulder, and Calvin places his cheek on my head. It’s more intimate than the moment calls for. We’re not a couple, but I need that connection he spoke of, especially with someone who understands what I’ve gone through.
I feel safe with Calvin. He’s right, we don’t know each other well enough yet, but I can’t help it. I also don’t want to pine for him or anyone. If he only wants to be friends, I’ll be satisfied with that, but I’m also not ready to let him go right now. I want to keep dancing like this for a long time.
But that bubble bursts when he suddenly stops dancing and glances behind me right when ‘My Way’ starts playing. We pull away reluctantly, at least on my part, and I turn to where he’s looking. Braeden is sitting on the stairs watching us.
“Hey, kiddo,” Calvin says.
The boy gives a quick, awkward wave. He looks so tired, but his eyes are more curious than anything.
“Are you two boyfriends?” Braeden asks.
My face burns, and I cough, while Calvin chuckles. “We’re only friends, but Seth here is cute enough to be.” He drapes an arm around me and winks. As always, my eyes roll, which only makes him smile bigger. I guess the winking and eye-rolling thing belongs to us now. I like having a ‘thing’ with him, like how he calls me Tiger and I call him Joker. “Especially when he blushes.”
“Oh, god… you, you…”
“Jerk?”
I huff. “Yep.”
He throws back his head and laughs before he grabs me and spins me around again. When we pull away, I’m slightly dizzy, but I can see Braeden smiling a little at our interaction.
“Actually, I was showing Seth how much of a fantastic dancer I am. Want to learn?”
To my surprise, Braeden stands and approaches Calvin. I sit on the comfortable sofa with my wine, watching him teach the boy how to dance. I can’t help but smile. Calvin has been so worried about doing right by Braeden, but he’s a natural. I realized that when he watched over Emily while we were at the park. Unfortunately, while observing them, my feelings grew exponentially. I don’t know how he did it, but I feel so much better about everything.
I think my kids can come home tomorrow.
