Seth
I’madjustingthecollarof my button-up in the bedroom mirror when a text comes in. I pick up my phone to see it’s Calvin. With a stupid smile on my face and equally stupid butterflies in my stomach, I swipe open my phone to read his message.
Joker: Hearing went well, I think
Me: I knew it would. Don’t worry. This is only one more
hurdle you’re finished with.
Joker: I suppose
Me: Stressed about Houston?
Joker: How do you know me so well in such a short time?
Me: You’re kind of an open book, Cal.
Joker: Well, damn. I guess I'd better work harder on my
manly mystery persona.
Me: I like you just as you are. You’ll get through this.
Text me wherever you need to. I’m here.
Joker: I owe you. Do you like chocolate chip cookies? That
doesn’t seem like a good enough thank you.
Me: I hate chocolate.
Calvin: …
Me:…
Joker: There’s something seriously wrong with you.
I burst out laughing, loving teasing him back.
Me: I love chocolate. Don’t worry.
Joker: Phew, I thought we’d have to stop being friends there
for a hot second.
Me: Drama queen.
Joker: That I am. Okay, I’m off!
Me: Bye
It’s strange that in a few short weeks, Calvin and I went from this weird neighbor thing to becoming good friends. He’s interesting and surprisingly kind. Heck, even Emily likes him. She’s calm around him, andthat’ssaying something.
The only concerning part of our friendship is my growing sexual thoughts about him. Even after last night and my stress with Leo, all I could think about was Calvin’s toes resting on my thigh while we were hanging out on the couch. Don’t even get me started about when he came to my defense, all protective and growly on my behalf.
He feels right, but I can’t go there. I’m trying to establish a relationship with Leo, and I really do like him. I want to see where it goes. The issue last night was off-putting. Not going to lie. It’s flattering that he’s eager, but he needs to slow down.
Looking back at Malcolm and me, I see it clearly now. I let him walk all over me, and I didn’t even recognize it at the time. I was so busy trying to raise the kids and make a happy life for all of us that I ended up trying even harder whenever Malcolm wasn’t happy. And he ended up leaving anyway after all that. I really need to do things differently with Leo. I don’t want a repeat of that.
