Would you look at that? He doesn’t even question me. He doesn’t leave me in doubt that I might have gotten it wrong or done the wrong thing. Nor does he claim that parents make mistakes, and perhaps I should communicate more with my mother. It feels fucking validating.
“I’ve tried, but she has this way of sucking me in. I’m weak around her. Plus, I’m all she has.”
I watch Braeden play his turn in the game. He seems okay, other than he’s back to being quiet again. I hate this. I want him to feel better, and I have no idea how to do that. Hell, I can’t even get him to fix up his room the way he wants. It still looks like a guest room—a temporary room.
“I’m terrified I’ll turn into my mom,” I whisper again so the boy doesn’t hear me. “That I’ll ruin him.”
Seth sits up straight, sets his glass on the table, then he plucks mine from my hand and sets it down, too. “Look at me.”
God, why do I let myself be vulnerable? I always feel so fucking small afterward. Weak. Pathetic.
“Cal, look at me,” he orders again. When I do, he says, “It’s normal as a parent to feel like you’re failing sometimes. Lord knows I do all the time.”
“You do? But you’re so good at it.”
“Not always. Besides, it doesn’t matter. We have small, little beings we’re shaping. We’re making who they will become as adults. It’s normal to be afraid if you’re doing the right thing, wrong thing… You think about a situation and wonder if you handled it correctly. You worry about them growing up and being able to cope and adapt to a harsh world. Yeah, I worry all the time if I’m doing a good enough job. And if you’re worried about these things, then you’re right where you need to be, Joker.”
I fold my legs until I have them crossed and sit up straighter before chuckling at myself. “And all I can think about is my mother. If I’d toldher what I told you, she’d make me feel worthless. Thank you for that, Tiger.”
Somewhere along the line, calling him Tiger went from a tease to an endearment.
He rests a hand on my shoulder, and that electricity warms me. “No one should make you feel worthless, especially not our parents. I know things seem overwhelming right now, and you’re going to have setbacks—always—but you’ll get through this. You’re a smart guy. Keep doing what you’re doing. Let Braeden in so he knows that he can trust and rely on you. When you’re vulnerable with him, he’ll feel safe doing the same.”
Before I can utter another word, someone knocks on his door.
“What the heck? I’m not expecting anyone.” He stands and heads toward the door. “I’ll be right back.”
I reach for my glass and finish off the rest of my wine. Then I stand to head to the kitchen to pour another glass. No, this isn’t me being snoopy. Fine, I’m being super nosy.
I can’t see who it is, so after pouring another glass, I head back to the living room. As soon as I sit down, Emily comes over and crawls onto my lap. My brows shoot to my hairline. I have no idea why she’s here or why she even likes me enough to sit with me. Was it as simple as giving her some damn animal crackers the other day? I mean, she’s only three, so maybe she appreciates the simple things. Perhaps she’s like Cicero, happy as a clam as long as he gets fed.
“What’s up, hellcat?”
“Watch?” she asks, showing me her purple tablet.
I adjust her on my lap and watch a toddler video. I have no idea what it’s called, but I’m not paying attention to it as much as I am to the mumbled voices behind me. Seth sure is taking a long time.
Someone’s voice gets heated, and it’s definitely not Seth. This voice is deeper. Without warning, my instincts are on high alert. I gently liftEmily off my lap and plop her onto the couch. “Be right back, little raptor.”
She goes back to watching her video, and the boys are oblivious, so I leave the room and head to the front door, where I find Seth trying to talk calmly to another man, who I assume is his boyfriend.
And I hate that the guy is hot as hell. He’s one of those tall, dark, and handsome types. He’d be someone I’d bring home for a fuck, for sure.
The dude looks tense and irritated. I don’t like it one bit.
“Can you please stay here while I get it?” Seth asks him.
“I don’t understand why I can’t come in.”
“I’ve already told you it’s because I’m not ready for you to meet my kids yet.”
“And why not? When will there be a good time? We’ve had several dates now. We also have a whole weekend planned together. I thought this was what you wanted when you invited me over to stay for the weekend.”
“We’ve already talked about this. I have to protect my kids first.”
“Protect? I’m a father, too, dammit.”
The guy’s voice is getting louder. Soon, the kids will be coming over to investigate, and all of Seth’s work will be out the window. This asshole is screaming red flags to me. He needs to respect Seth’s boundaries.
