“Yeah, but you’ve got all them fancy London moisturisers so you look dewy, my love, dewy.”
I gave in – begrudgingly – and let Sonia drag me onto the dancefloor surrounded by twenty-year-olds in outfits so cheap a single open flame near them could have the whole place ablaze. Ah, provincial nightclubs. I remembered them well. Actually, not at all. I never went to a single one in the shithole town I grew up in, as my mum needed me peeling potatoes in the kitchens of the pub, but I had heard of them.
We danced for several songs, and I hated to admit, I was having a great time. Sonia threw herself around to whichever Top 40 track came on, and I shimmied behind her, trying not to be the campest man on the dancefloor. Second campest was fine.
Eventually, a half-decent song that I quite liked came on. Sonia pulled a face. “Nipping to the loo while they play this rubbish,” she whisper-yelled in my ear and disappeared off in the direction of the ladies.
I made my way to the side of the floor. No one wants to be the guy dancing on his own in a place like this. As I leaned against the wall, toying with my phone, I looked around and saw a familiar shape.
Errol Mottley was cosying up to a very attractive young blond guy with muscles bigger than his head. Errol had his arms around the roid-rage twink’s neck and was pulling him close.
He must’ve been near twice the lad’s age, as there was no way the farm boy could have been older than twenty-one. Unfortunately, Errol saw me at exactly the same time, I realised I’d been staring and made to avert my eyes and disappear into the … well, nothing in this part of the world was technically a crowd, but near enough.
The scowl on his face was enough to tell me he wasn’t going to be asking for a repeat performance.
I did what any sane coward would do, and I skedaddled. I made it to the terrace outside, where it was crowdedwith groups sitting at every table, but slightly quieter after the ruckus inside. Errol was right behind me.
“Forrest!”
“Oh, hello, Errol. Didn’t see you there,” I said innocently, turning to look at him.
He came up to me. “What the hell are you playing at?”
I hesitated. “I’m here with my friend … she’s in the loo. I live around here, remember? I do go out. Occasionally.”
“Stop being obtuse,” he snapped. He looked around and then grabbed my arm and took me further down the terrace so he could presumably argue with me in semi-privacy. Or kill me. Or leak my nude photos. Did I have any nudes on my phone? I must do.
He got in my face and waved his finger. “Telling the detectives we were together that night was a big mistake.”
I was confused. He wasn’t thinking I’d been stalking him? Oh, that was a bonus … oh, no wait. “Excuse me? Of course I told them. They asked me who I’d been with.”
“Yeah, and dropped me right in it. They came knocking that afternoon when I was at a campaign event with Suzy. She was furious when she found out that we’d fucked. I got warnings and reprimands from higher-ups. A whole shebang.”
“That’s not my fault!” I snapped back. “What did you want me to do? Say, no officer, I have no alibi. Because that wouldn’t have been weird or suspicious. Especially when they eventually found out the truth. Besides, you’re not a candidate – what does it matter who you let screw you at weekends?”
Errol looked at me like I was a moron. Perhaps I was. I’d thought he was charming that night. He was anything but.
“Because … you’re you. You weirdo. With your” – he gestured at me – “fucked up life. The guy with the paedo brother and the killer ex.”
“Fine.” I paused. “I’m sorry that telling the police the truth was so inconvenient for you and that you got in trouble for having such poor taste in hook ups. And I’m sorry your rather unremarkable performance in bed has been such a headache. So you can go back to the little farmhand you’ve picked up and let him do you at a bus stop until you forget all about it.”
Errol sneered. “You fucking prick. Do you have any idea what people say about you?”
“Is it like what I’ve said about you? Big dick, no idea how to use it, and uses way too much teeth when he gives head?”
I walked off. It’s not often I get the last word.
Of course, I didn’t. Errol grabbed my arm. His finger was back in my face. “You watch yourself, yeah. I’m not above taking care of you if you get in my way.” He stormed off.
I gulped and tried to make my legs work. Sonia was waiting for me at the other end of the terrace when I eventually arrived. “What was all that about?” she asked.
“Errol has buyer’s remorse,” I snapped. “And he only rented for the evening.”
Sonia narrowed her eyes and thought for a second. “Oh, I get it now. You’re the thing what he bought. He was renting you.”
“It was a joke, Sonia. Please don’t start telling people he actually rented me.” Not with what he was already saying about me.
She nodded. “I’m quite drunk. I should call Ade.”
