“Do they want more money?”
“No, maybe, I don’t know. Arden, I’m going to bat for you, I promise. I’ll do everything I can, but for God’s sake, keep your head down and don’t do anything stupid. Maybe try and calm down a bit. Less manic.”
She hung up.
I was going to lose everything. I had rejected Ollie. Tarquin was a psychopath. Verity had clearly had enough of me. And everyone else was basing their assumptions about me on a tabloid article.
Did I have enough in savings to pay my mortgage for a while, at least? I had lost track of my money over the past few months. I think I was fine, in fact, I knew I had more than enough to live on for a few years, but the deep dread was crawling up my skin. You were a poor, lonely little boy with no friends once. You’ll be that boy again.
I crawled up beside Kenny and waited for the night to come.
Chapter 12
I woke to my phone buzzing and with no idea how long I’d slept. I had gone from never sleeping to always sleeping. Neither seemed to have improved how I felt.
After a lengthy search in the covers (and the dog), I found the device. Nigella’s name looked at me from the screen. It was Monday morning. I’d been dead to the world for half a day.
“Hello?” I croaked.
“Darling,” she said. I nearly started crying. “I’ve heard everything. You poor thing. Are you decent for visitors? The boys are at school, thankfully, so I’m free for the day. Be over in twenty.”
After putting the phone down, I dragged my sorry, lifeless arse to the bathroom where I tried to make myself look human. Did everyone else jump in fright when they saw themselves in the mirror? No, just me?
I sat on my back step, drinking coffee, and hoped Kenny didn’t decide to run around the front of the house where several photographers waited for me. Thankfully, he sniffed about the back happily.
Nigella crested the hill above the garden. She waved as she made her way down through the field, and I clambered to help her hop over the ancient stone wall. “That took an age,” she said. “Had to wander halfway to Winterborne and then get up this hill to avoid those bloody reporters.”
She arranged her summer dress in a more becoming manner and smiled serenely. “I’ve brought muffins,” she said and led me indoors, stopping to give Kenny a pat on the head.
We sat at the breakfast bar, and encouraged by the magic of her soothing middle-class tones, I was able togive the full rundown of everything since I’d fled the room at Honningtons.
“Darling.” She rubbed my arm. “You’ve been in the wars, I mean, obviously others have it a bit worse – we’ll speak about that in a minute – but you poor thing. Do you really think they’ll cancel your contract?”
“Your guess is as good as mine.”
She rubbed my arm again. “Do you want to discuss finding … you know.”
I shook my head. “What was this other thing you wanted to speak about?”
“Oh. The village is rallying around Simon. I’m going to his place later to offer some moral support. I spoke to him last night.” She checked her watch. “He said his parents were driving down to Edinburgh to get a flight. They should be getting in soon. I’ve got a shepherd’s pie in here.” She patted the reusable canvas shopping bag she’d brought. “Do you have a speciality you can whip up?”
I went cold. “Apple crumble?”
“Oh, that’d be perfect. Everyone will need a treat. I didn’t know you baked.”
I remained silent and instead took a big bite of my muffin. Nigella continued to witter on for a while. She folded a tea towel for the seventh time.
My eyes narrowed. “Gella, is everything alright with you?”
“Silly really,” she said in a small voice, looking away.
“Go on, spill. You’ve heard my latest self-induced crisis.”
She kept folding the tea towel. Eventually, however, she began to speak. “Ahhh, um – well … Matteo – and I – have decided to separate,” she said quietly.
She looked at me, and I instantly went to her. Her eyes were glistening with tears. “Gella, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s so bloody hard, Arden. This is not how I thought it’d be.” She paused, shocked at her own candour. “Kids, house, jobs. We’ve been married for twenty years. I thought we’d last forever. We just … are. We’ve been together most of my adult life. I can’t remember who I was before I knew him.”
