“I was busy with my responsibilities in the House of Lords,” he said, dodging the real reason.
Amelia stared at him, and in her green eyes, he saw a woman who knew precisely what he’d been doing. “You’re being dishonest with yourself. You wanted me that night. And I suspect you still do. Why, then, are you holding yourself back from being with me again?”
“I wed you to protect your reputation and your family’s name,” he corrected. “And because I didn’t want your life ruined because of Lisford. Nothing more.”
She continued to study him. “I am grateful to you for it. But I don’t want a marriage where I see my husband once a month, and he confines me to a bedroom far away from his. It feels as if you despise me.”
It wasn’t that, but at the same time, he didn’t want a real marriage with Amelia. “I don’t despise you. But you knew, when you married me, that it wouldn’t be anything more.”
“It’s not as if I expect you to fall in love with me.” But he heard the slight catch in her voice, as if she were holding back her own feelings. She lifted a lock of hair from her neck and stared out the window. “But I wouldn’t mind it if you came to my bed again.”
Another unholy image surged through his brain, of what it was like to thrust inside her, feeling her flesh yield beneath his. He gritted his teeth against the rising arousal. “Later, perhaps.”
“I’ll not be a wallflower in this marriage,” she said quietly. “I won’t let you set me aside like a forgotten coat.” Her face had gone pale, and she ventured softly, “Or is it that you don’t want to be with me in that way? Was it that bad?”
He hesitated, for this was a dangerous conversation. Touching Amelia had been deeply arousing, haunting him at every moment.Hewas the one who should have lasted longer, making it better forher. “You did nothing wrong.” He beckoned for her to come and sit beside him. When she did, he stroked a lock of her hair back. “I’m having trouble with the idea that I’ve remarried. It’s been a long time.”
“You don’t feel that you deserve to be happy again, do you?” Her voice was barely above a whisper, but he nodded. Her arms came around his waist, and she rested her cheek against his heart.
It seemed wrong that Katherine had died, while he was left to go on living. Watching her waste away, taking one step closer to death each day, was the worst nightmare he’d ever endured. He kept wondering if he’d found a different doctor or if he’d found some other way to help her, then perhaps he could have saved her from dying.
“It’s hard,” he said at last.
“Will you try?” She held out her hand to his, and he knew that if he turned her down now, it would sever the fragile friendship between them.
He took her hand in his and was startled when she turned to kiss his cheek. The soft brush of her lips burned through him, and he stopped her from pulling back. Instead, he brought his mouth to hers. Her lips were gentle, accepting him, but the invitation was undeniable. When her hands reached up to his hair, he deepened the kiss, pulling her onto his lap.
He didn’t care that she was nestled against his arousal. Her tongue touched his, and a breathless sigh escaped her when he rocked his hips.
He could claim her right now in the coach, lifting her skirts and sinking into her willing flesh. She was trembling against him, her green eyes dark with her own desire.
“I love it when you touch me,” she murmured. “Don’t stop.”
He rewarded her by reaching beneath her gown to touch her leg, moving his hands upward to her inner thigh. Amelia leaned in closer, kissing him hard, and she pressed herself against his arousal.
He knew he shouldn’t continue, for they would reach the inn all too soon. But he found himself giving in to the physical pleasure of caressing her. She was so responsive, her lips swollen from his kiss.
It was as if his mind and body were separate, as he brought her closer to the edge.
“Do you want this?” he asked huskily, when he slipped his fingers inside her wetness.
“I want you,” she breathed.
He rubbed his thumb against her hooded flesh, watching her face. The need to possess her was overwhelming, but he welcomed the physical frustration. He didn’t care that he would be in pain tonight—there was no harm in giving her pleasure.
He would enjoy that, he realized. Watching her come apart was a reward in itself, and there was no need to indulge his own needs.
“Let go,” he ordered, thrusting his hand against her. “Or I’ll keep tormenting you even more.”
She shuddered against him, biting her lower lip, while her eyes remained closed. She was fighting him, and when she reached for his erection, he caught her wrist.
“No. This isn’t about me.”
He moved his mouth to the neckline of her gown. Though he couldn’t free her breasts, he kissed the bared skin. “If I could, I’d take your nipple in my mouth,” he told her. “I’d suckle you hard until you screamed.”
His words forced her past the brink, and she arched against him, a cry escaping as she surrendered to the release. He held heras she went limp against him. His own heart was pounding, his shaft so hard, it was punishment for what he’d done.
But Amelia smiled as if he’d handed her a priceless jewel.
