“May I kiss your hand?” he asked softly.
Yes, her impulsive side wanted to cry out.Your mouth upon my bare skin without gloves.
But she sensed that if she gave this man a single liberty, Lord Lisford would take matters further. She would become like the string of women he’d wooed and rejected. This was a man who loved the hunt. He wanted a woman who couldn’t be caught. The more she held him at a distance, the stronger his interest would be.
He was already reaching for her palm when Amelia shook her head. “Not yet.”
“Are you afraid of me?” His voice was kinder now, as if he were trying to be gentle.
Amelia shook her head.I’m afraid of myself.She already knew she was very different from her sisters—impulsive and eager to charge into the fray for anything she wanted.
She believed in seizing every last moment of joy from life. Sensory experiences were a craving she couldn’t deny, whether it involved scent, taste, or most of all, touch. Her body was incredibly sensitive, and she wore corsets and chemises from Aphrodite’s Unmentionables that would utterly shock Margaret. But she loved the feeling of silk and satin against her skin. She sensed that when she shared a man’s bed for the first time, she would love it.
And that was too dangerous to imagine. She couldn’t even risk a passionate kiss for fear that her instinctive urges would lead her down a path to ruin. Amelia wanted this man to love her. She didn’t want to be yet another nameless woman out of the dozens he’d courted in the past.
“Tell me something about yourself that no one else knows,” she said, trying to change the subject—and her imagination—away from kissing.
He frowned, urging the horses to continue. For a long moment, he thought about it, and finally he said, “Only if you do the same.”
“All right.” She steeled herself and said, “I’m afraid of heights. I can’t bear to be on a balcony.”
He inclined his head to show that he’d heard her, and at last he admitted, “I need to marry an heiress.”
“What man doesn’t?” She shrugged and added, “My father is only a baron, and we’ve struggled a bit over the past few years, but—”
He interrupted, “I know. But your family is far more settled, now that your eldest sister is wedded to a duke.”
She didn’t know what he meant by “settled,” but she resisted the desire to correct him. Their wealth had nothing to do with her father’s income and everything to do with selling naughty undergarments to ladies of the ton, though she didn’t say so. Over the years, they had amassed quite a lot of money from Aphrodite’s Unmentionables, and now she didn’t worry about their family’s funds. But maintaining that secrecy was critical.
She swallowed hard at the thought of yesterday’s conversation with Lady Sarah. Something had to be done, but what? Clearly the woman needed help and was desperate enough to resort to blackmail. Her mood darkened with fear over what Lady Sarah might say or do. It could threaten all of them.
“I’ve made some mistakes,” Lord Lisford admitted. “I’ve gambled more than I should have.”
Now here was a rare glimpse at honesty. He knew his vices and was willing to be open about them. “Then stop playing cards,” she urged him. “Don’t even go into White’s.”
“You don’t understand. It’s expected of me.”
“Appearances are more important to you than protecting your family’s assets?” she inquired. Though it might be expected of a gentleman, she had the sense that his debts were growing steadily.
Lord Lisford let out a heavy sigh. “Appearances are necessary for maintaining a standard to which others aspire.”
In other words, he wanted to look good in front of his friends and was willing to bury himself in debt for the sake of it.
Amelia took his arm again and said, “If you wish to marry an heiress, then you’ll have to give up such nonsense. Why would she want to let you control her money, if you’ve been whittling it away?” She didn’t give him an opportunity to answer, but continued, “Prove yourself responsible, and more doors will open to you.”
“And what of you? Would you marry a reformed wastrel?”
Amelia sent him a sidelong smile. “Only if he earned my heart.”
Lord Lisford’s expression turned somber as he turned the corner. The phaeton moved smoothly as they continued down the opposite banks of the river. “I am sorry about what happened with your sister, you know. That was wrong of me. But it would have been worse to marry her.”
“It was a dreadful thing to do,” Amelia said. “And you should make amends for it.”
His mouth twisted. “There’s nothing I could say that would bring about her forgiveness. My actions were reprehensible.”
“Once she is wedded to another man, she’ll put it behind her,” Amelia predicted. “And I know just the earl who would suit Margaret perfectly. You could help me make a match for her.”
Lord Lisford listened to her plan, and by the time they had finished their drive, she was smiling. Before long, both the Earl of Castledon and Margaret would have their happily-ever-after.
