“Ye may follow Adelaide,” Elspeth told Keira. “She will show ye to yer room.”
Keira looked even more confused now, but that made her appear even more endearing. Raphael felt a sudden urge to clear the entire castle and spend the following two weeks with only her, without any interruptions, but he knew such a thing was not possible.
“Thank you very much,” Keira said politely, only to glance at him one more time, and then she disappeared behind closed doors.
Raphael and his mother were alone. When he turned to face her, he could see her eyes focused on him.
“I ken what ye are doin’,” she told him gravely. “You needn’t play games. I can see exactly what ye are attemptin’ to do.”
“I’m nae doin’ anythin’,” he said, although he knew very well that she wouldn’t believe him.
To be quite honest, he himself had no idea what he was doing. He was supposed to keep away from women who managed to do the impossible—and that was to stir his imagination.
And here he was, doing the exact opposite, going so far as to invite such a woman into his very home, to have her as close to him as possible. It was preposterous.
“Violet arrives tomorrow,” Elspeth reminded him, her voice piercing through his tumultuous thoughts.
Strangely, he had completely forgotten all about it, although one of the main reasons for Keira’s presence in his home was Violet. He resisted the temptation to chuckle at this unexpected turn of events. His plan was to use the presence of one woman to deny the potential emotions of the other. It seemed logical enough, provided that he himself felt nothing for either of them.
That was the case with Violet, but with Keira… he wasn’t so certain.
She had already managed to creep under his skin, to sneak into the very corners of his mind and nestle there, appearing before the eye of his mind at the most inopportune moment, when he had least expected her.
That meant he was already losing control of the situation, something he could not allow to happen. He had to show her that this was truly just two weeks, and nothing else.
“Everyone arrives tomorrow.” He shrugged indifferently, wanting to show his mother that he could not care less whether Violet would be there or not. That was actually the truth. “My guest merely arrived a wee bit earlier than the rest.”
His mother wasn’t amused even the slightest bit. However, he knew that everything she did, she did out of love. She was growing old, and she yearned to see her only son with a family, with a wife who would love him, with children of his own and the pitter-patter of little feet running through the castle.
Pain wrapped around his heart, tightening its grip. He knew what he had done. People like him did not deserve a happily ever after. He was not even fooling himself that he would ever be a happy man. He didn’t deserve happiness.
He didn’t deserve love. He didn’t deserve anything that should befall a good man, for he was not a good man. No one would be able to convince him otherwise, not after everything that he had done in the past.
Suddenly, seeing her son lost in thought, Elspeth’s expression softened. She was rarely this grave, this stern with him, and he knew that it was all rooted in her sheer desire to see him happy.
A part of him felt guilty that he was not the kind of son she deserved, that he was not the kind of son who would provide an old woman with what she yearned for the most. Sometimes, life was like that. Unfair to even those who were good.
“I understand yer concerns, me son. But, ye have duties to yer clan. And we must be prepared for the gatherin’ that is comin’.” Her voice was tender, soft, loving.
He walked over to her and took her by the hand. It felt small and cold in his. He remembered taking her hand as a little boy. It had felt big, warm, reassuring. It had felt like the safest place in the world.
Nothing and no one could have harmed him while he had been holding his mother by the hand. Now, her hand had withered. It did not have the strength from before. It was his turn to keep her safe and protected, to keep everyone around him safe and protected.
He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it tenderly, just like he had when he had been a little boy. “I shall tend to me duties as a host, Maither,” he assured her, a sense of responsibility guiding his words. “But ye ken that I willnae be forced into such a commitment.”
She smiled at him somehow sadly as she placed a reassuring hand on his arm. “I have always wanted the best for ye, me dear. I dinnae want to see ye grow old alone. Violet is a good lass. She will make ye happy.”
“Some people are best alone, Maither,” he explained. “And also, some people shouldnae be happy.”
“Dinnae say that.” She shook her head. “Ye are bein’ too hard on yerself, as always.”
He smiled. “And ye are bein’ too kind.”
She smiled back at him, caressing his cheek. “Promise me ye’ll think about it. Welcome her. Spend time with her. I’m sure ye’ll see that ye can be happy with her.”
He sighed heavily. “All right, Maither. I’ll do as ye say.”
“Thank ye,” she replied, not aware that he had only promised her half of what she had asked of him. “I shall go see if the cook has finished preparing the dessert menu for the gatherin’. Everythin’ else should be in place, by now.”
