In the distance, a howl rises, long and mournful, answered by another, then another. The local pack, calling to each other across the mountain. The sound vibrates through my chest, ancient and primal. My wolf responds with a surge of joy. I don’t join in. I’m not a member of their pack, but I do love the sound.
In Atlanta, I never heard the pack run. Too much noise, too many humans, too much concrete drowning out what we’re meant to be. But here, the wolves sing to each other in the darkness, their voices carrying across the snow-covered peaks.
Exhilarated, I run faster as the forest opens up before me, letting my wolf finally, finally be free. My muscles burn and my lungs ache. I run until complete exhaustion consumes me. Then, covered in sweat, I return to the apartment complex and my human form. I take a few minutes to catch my breath, wiping sweat from my face.
Once my breathing has steadied, I re-dress, my entire body warm and relaxed. I feel like a new man. The expansive woods that surround this small town might just be the key to myhealing. For too long I’ve kept my wolf contained. Imprisoned. Now, after one shift, I feel renewed. Whole.
I took this job to redeem myself, but I’m beginning to realize there’s so much more that might be possible. This is my chance to remember who I could have been if my childhood had been different. This is my opportunity to nurture my wolf. To possibly reconnect with that side of myself. I don’t feel the need to join a pack or anything that crazy, but I would like to explore more of my wolf side.
As those thoughts warm me, the memory of the dark-eyed wolf from the bar sends a shiver through me. I have no idea who he is or why he affected me so profoundly. Something about him unsettled me. He was a stranger to me, yet somehow familiar. I’ve never experienced anything like that with another wolf. To be honest, I didn’t enjoy it much. Something about his gaze made me feel vulnerable.
That’s the last thing I want. After what happened back in Atlanta, I’ll die before I show my soft underbelly to another wolf or human. Everyone let me down. My own partner turned on me. My Lieutenant was more worried about how everything made him look than the factmycareer was on the line. The human I showed compassion to ended up murdering an innocent man. Both man and wolf let me down.
Coming here might help me get back in touch with my wolf, but I have no desire to get close to anyone. In the past, belonging mattered more to me. Even though I wasn’t good at it, I craved acceptance. Not anymore.
From now on I’m going toembracethe idea of being a lone wolf.
Chapter Two
Liam
I wake to pale light filtering through my girlfriend Kara’s bedroom curtains. The warmth of her body is pressed against my side, and her sweet perfume fills my nostrils. She’s still asleep, her red hair fanned across the pillow, one arm draped over my chest. I feel affection as I watch her sleep. She’s so beautiful and I care about her a lot. What we have together is comfortable. Familiar. We’ve been together for a year, and she’s exactly the kind of woman I’ve always been drawn to. Smart. Funny. Easy to be around.
But as compatible as we are, something has kept me from taking the next step. It worries me that I’m hesitant about doing that with her. Kara is fucking amazing. Any guy in town would kill to have her. So why am I dragging my feet when she’s so perfect? She’s hinted a few times lately that she’d like to be engaged by the end of next year. But every time she brings that subject up, my gut churns and I tend to change the subject.
I’m not sure what’s wrong with me. I’m turning thirty this week. I should be ready to settle down. I don’t think I’m ever going to find another woman who I’mmorecompatible with. She checks all the boxes of what a good romantic partner should be. We share a lot of the same favorite movies and music. She wants a family one day, just like I do. She’s happy to stay here in Golden Peak too, which is a must for me. I don’t want to leave my pack, so it’s essential I settle down with a woman who loves it here as much as I do.
I’m overthinking it. I’m putting too much pressure on myself.
I sigh and slip out of bed, careful not to wake her. The hardwood floor is cold under my feet as I pad to the bathroom and turn on the shower. Steam fills the small space and I catch my reflection in the mirror. I look tired. I just had a full eight hours, but I don’t feel like it. My body and mind are dragging. If I’m honest, the last five years I’ve felt like that. Where’s the guy who used to wake up every morning buzzing with excitement to go out and change the world? Where’d he go? Am I just feeling this way because I’m leaving my twenties behind?
I step into the shower, letting the hot water run over my head. As I work lemon-scented shampoo into my hair, for some reason my thoughts drift to that blond wolf I saw at the bar last night. He was new in town, that was obvious, and Steve was hitting on him. Of course, Steve hits on everyone. Steve’s ‘gaydar’ is usually spot on, but the guy hadn’t flirted back. In fact, he’d sat at the bar, shoulders hunched like he was trying to disappear into his burger.
Even though his body language had been antisocial, our eyes met a few times. Each time it happened, the strangest sense of recognition buzzed through me. That made no sense because I was certain we’d never met. Still, stranger or not, my wolf stirred in a way I’d never experienced before. Not with Kara. Not with any of the women I’d dated. He’d looked equally uncomfortable, as if he’d been feeling the same illogical recognition.
I laugh self-consciously because I don’t understand why I’m obsessing about this. What am I actually thinking? That I wasattractedto that guy? Fuck no, that isn’t a thing. I’m not into men. I’ve never been into men. There’s nothing wrong with being gay, but I’ve always dated women. Slept with women. I’m sure I’ll end up marrying Kara. Despite me hemming and hawing about getting engaged, we’re good together. She’s hung in there with me through thick and thin. It hasn’t always beeneasy for her either, because I work long hours. Our department is small, so we often have to work twelve-hour shifts. Especially during the busy season, and a lot of times I’m too beat to do anything but crash after work. She understands that and doesn’t complain.
Feeling agitated, I scrub shampoo through my hair more aggressively than necessary. I think I’m subconsciously trying to wash thoughts of that stranger out of my head. He probably seemed familiar because he reminded me of a celebrity or something. Odds are he’s already left town anyway. I’ll never see him again.
Twenty minutes later, I’m dressed and trying to leave without waking Kara. She stirs as I’m lacing my boots.
“You’re sneaking out on me, Martinez?” Her voice is sleep-rough and amused.
“Nah, I just need to get to the station.”
She stretches, the sheet slipping down to reveal the top of her full breasts. “Come here first.”
I smile and stand, moving around the bed to lean down and kiss her. It’s nice. It’s always nice with Kara. But even as I’m kissing her, part of my brain is elsewhere, which makes me feel like an asshole.
“Dinner tonight?” she asks when I pull back.
“I don’t know if I can. I’m supposed to meet my new partner today. The Chief wants the department to do a welcome thing for her at the bar after shift.”
She pouts. “I’m not sure I like the idea of you getting a woman partner. What if you fall madly in love with her?”
I laugh and straighten. “No way, baby. I’m all yours.”
She bites her bottom lip. “Promise?”
