Cassie rolled to face the wall. “Please, Ian. I need some space. I can’t have you near me right now. You make me think of things that aren’t possible.”
“Cassie?”
“Tuck, my shoulder hurts a lot. Can I get something, please?” She lowered the head of the bed. “Ian, please.”
Ian didn’t want to leave, but he didn’t want to harm her either. One look at Tucker’s face told him the only choice was to retreat and regroup. “I’m going now, but I won’t be gone long.”
Lillian helped Tucker ice Cassie’s shoulder and brought Cassie the medication. “Heard you wanted this. Tough morning, huh?
“How does your other shoulder feel? That’s a big chip you’re carrying,” Lil said.
Cassie lifted her chin in defiance. Lillian lowered the blinds to block some of the bright sunshine filtering into the room.
Tucker sat beside Cassie. “I don’t know why you feel you are undeserving of goodness, but you’re not. You didn’t cause this tragedy.”
“I don’t know what or who to believe,” Cassie whispered.
Lillian sat on the corner of the bed. “You know, when I was younger, I was a lot like you. I could do anything. I didn’t need help. My job was to take care of the whole world, to be a good girl, a good wife, and a good mother. I worried what everyone around me thought. I had responsibilities, and no mistakes were allowed.
“When Declan and I were first married, we were stationed in Hawaii. He was deployed, and I was a Navy nurse—and a Navy Captain. With no family in Hawaii, I put Ian in base childcare.
“That blew apart the expectations. My career was supposed to be being a devoted Naval officer’s wife. I was supposed to volunteer and attend functions in his stead. And I did, but I also worked. There were whispers behind my back. Most were about me being a bad wife and mother who ignored her duty. Hell, some of the real busybodies said it to my face. I told no one, including Declan. I would go home and cry every night after I put Ian to bed. I never shared my worries. He had a job to do, and I didn’t want to distract him.
“It came to a head when I was pregnant with Kieran. Declan was gone so much, people speculated Kieran wasn’t his.” She gave a breathy laugh. “I was in the hospital in endless labor, and they wanted to do a Cesarean section. The baby wasn’t in distress, so I refused. The Navy flew Declan in to do something for his hysterical wife. Imagine this scene—a very dusty man in uniform walks into my room, no—marches in. Fathers were still sitting in waiting rooms then.” When Lillian smiled, Cassie saw parts of Ian in her face.
“The minute I saw Declan, I fell apart. All the secrets roared out in a tidal wave. He climbed into the bed with me, and the nurses freaked out. Germs, you know, but neither of us cared. He held me while I sobbed. You know those snotty tears? When I had cried myself out, we talked. He told me how much he loved me. He reminded me I wasn’t alone; we were partners. My fears were his—and his were mine. That’s what marriage is all about. The truth was I needed to share my burdens. ‘Trust our love,’ he told me. Let him love and protect me.”
Cassie remembered Ian’s words.
“Mind you, all through this, I was having contractions. I guess the tears helped. Kieran made his grand appearance in the middle of my emotional craziness. When we came home, a huge realization struck me. There I was with two incredible, healthy boys and a man who loved me—even with all my real and perceived faults. I didn’t have to be perfect. He helped me sort out falsehoods, rumors, and see truths. What a fool I was being. All that time wasted. All that unnecessary suffering in a world shaped by what happened in the past and not living. Take it from me, Cassie. You are allowed to love yourself and be loved. You are worthy.” Lillian tucked her in.
“Try to rest, darlin’.” Tucker leaned down, kissed the top of her head, and settled in the corner. “I’m right here if you need me.”
* * *
“Iwas a distraction at the dinner. Did I make her miss Ames’ signals?” Ian told Martin what she said. “She yelled at me that she was a dirty whore. Not marriage material.”
“Give her time, Ian. I know you have feelings for her, but you’re new to her. Slow down,” Martin said.
“You’re right. The waters are getting muddier. She mentioned in her statement Ames said she would bring a good price. Are we looking at trafficking?”
Martin’s eyes widened. “I know someone wants to stop her. Who knew our location? I saw the driver of the Hummer. He was wearing a balaclava. It was no accident—that truck was headed right for us.”
“We have sightings of the truck from here through Maryland.”
“Excuse me.” Lillian entered and removed a syringe from her pocket. “I need your belly.” When Martin frowned, she laughed. “All you warriors and a little shot upsets you.”
Martin sucked in his breath as she injected the med. “Thanks, Lil.”
“Martin Bailey, you did something extraordinary last night. I thank you on behalf of my son, who sometimes forgets his manners.” She stared at her oldest son. “Ian, Martin needs to rest. Not too much longer.”
“Yes, ma’am. And, Mom, do you want to join the company when you retire?”
Lillian laughed, leaving them alone. Ian turned back to Martin. “We will look at who was aware of the MRI. Sophie was drugged with sodium amytal, and our guys were dosed with ether pumped in through the car AC. I assume Cassie’s location is compromised.”
“Do you think the guy playing the ME in San Diego is our man?”
“I do. I’m taking Christian with me to get the baby tonight. Tony should have a sketch by then. Kieran is here with the rest of the team. I want you to rest.”
