Deek:Bro, I JUST sat down to shit. Thirty minutes isn’t enough.
Sin:We will ALL be there, VP. Deek, clean snap if you have to!
I let out a small chuckle as I say goodbye to Beck and Sage, then hop on my ride back to the clubhouse. Thirty minutes later, I’m sitting in the Chapel with Sin, Ghost, Koa, Bear, Axel, and Mace while we wait for Deek.
“Is he really not done yet?” Mace asks.
Bear groans. “I don’t know what the fuck my son eats, but he’s been like this his whole life. His shits last longer than the entireLord of the RingsTrilogy.”
Axel snorts. “Extended edition or theatrical?”
“Extended,” Bear deadpans. “We’re talking twelve-hour-long bowel warfare.”
Ghost leans back in his chair. “Honestly? I think he snacks in there. Refuels mid-battle.”
Koa shakes his head. “Brother’s got a whole questline happening on that toilet. First, he sits, then he struggles, then he overcomes adversity. It’s a hero’s journey.”
Mace chuckles. “Pretty sure the toilet’s therealvictim. That thing’s seen things.”
Axel leans back in his chair, raising his fist in the air. “If he doesn’t walk outta there with a staff and a cloak saying,‘You shall not pass,’I’m gonna be disappointed.”
Sin rubs his temples. “Jesus-fucking-Christ! If he’s not in here in the next two minutes, someone go drag his hobbit ass out.”
From the hallway, Deek calls out loud and offended, “I can hear you fuckers shit-talking me!”
“We’re talking shit because you’re taking the longest one in the history of the world,” Bear calls back.
The Chapel door swings open hard, slamming against the wall like it personally offended him. Deek strides in with all the dramatic flair of a man who absolutely refuses to acknowledge he was fighting for his life in the bathroom.
His cut is crooked. His hair is a mess. But he looks… victorious.
Deek throws his arms wide. “You’re welcome, assholes. I just survived something traumatic. Nobody checked on me. Nobody offered emotional support. I could’ve fucking died in there.”
Bear groans. “For fuck’s sake.”
Deek plops into a chair like a man returning from war. “Now. What’s this urgent meeting about? Because if it’s anything less than life or death, I’m walking my heroic ass back out, to finish, because I had to stop mid-shit for this.”
“You took that long, and you’re only halfway through? What the fuck!” Axel drones.
Sin finally snaps, laughing despite himself. “Sit the fuck down, Deek.”
Deek grins, slides back into his seat, and points both thumbs at himself. “You’re welcome for my presence. Please… continue.”
The brothers turn to me, watching with varying degrees of curiosity and concern.
“Nitro,” Sin says, settling into his chair at the head of the table. “You called this meeting. What’s up?”
I stand, my hands braced on the table. “Now that we haveliterallygot all that shit out of the way… Marley’s birthday is coming up. I’m throwing her a party here at the clubhouse. Eighties rock band theme. Everyone dresses up. No exceptions.”
There’s a beat of silence.
Then Koa starts laughing. “You want us to dress up? Like with costumes?”
“Yes.”
“As eighties rock stars?” Deek adds, grinning.
“Yes.”
