‘You took them from my mother’s coffer?’ he accused.
Jeanette suppressed her irritation. ‘Do not make it about that,’ she said. ‘I was forced into a match that both your mother and mine knew was wrong. You were pushed into it too. Read them and know the truth.’ She gestured with an open hand.
He shook his head at her, but did as she suggested; but after he had read a couple, he tossed the rest aside.
‘What will you do with them?’ he asked.
She saw him look towards the hearth, and prepared to intercept him. ‘They should go to my attorney and to Master Beverley,’ she said, ‘but I do not trust them to arrive safely in the right hands, so I shall keep them for now, and send copies.’
‘Put them somewhere safe then, and out of my sight. I do not need to read the rest – I am too heartsick already.’
Jeanette hastily stowed them back with her jewels and locked the box.
He looked at her miserably. ‘I do not suppose you will stay here now for there is nothing to keep you, is there?’
She shook her head. ‘I need to visit my mother. I have things to say to her face, rather than let them continue to fester within me.’
He nodded wearily. ‘But you will accompany me to Windsor for the ceremony of the Garter in Saint George’s Chapel, won’t you?’
She looked at him in wary surprise. ‘The court will be there and the other Knights of the Garter, including Thomas. Are you not taking a great risk?’
William shrugged. ‘You hated me at the outset, and I felt the same about you. I even thought you were a little mad, and I listened to others because I was too young to know what I should do – to be a man. But we understand each other better now. I hope you would not smirch my honour, and the same for Thomas Holland, even if for no other reason than that it would hamper due process.’
‘I have never been the one hampering due process,’ she said shortly, ‘and neither has Thomas, but you need not worry about any unseemliness. I shall put the letters in Master Beverley’s hands until I have a new attorney, and after Windsor I shall go to my mother.’
‘And after that?’
‘To the Queen’s household until the case is settled.’
William lay back down on the bed and looked at her. ‘If not for your match with Holland, we might have made a good marriage eventually,’ he said, almost wistfully.
‘We would have rubbed along together, perhaps – it does no good to speculate. You should find yourself a wife of your own choosing.’
He snorted. ‘I intend to, but until then I shall live very well in Edward’s household. But supposing the papal court decides our marriage is valid after all?’
Jeanette shuddered. ‘Do not tell me you are still wishing for such an outcome.’
His complexion darkened, and he looked away. ‘No,’ he said. ‘But I still wonder . . .’
‘Well, don’t,’ she snapped.
He closed his eyes and she waited until he had fallen asleep, then left the guest house and walked Nosewyse along themoonlit garden paths. She did not wonder at all: she knew such a burden would be intolerable.
In the morning, William came to her as she was packing her baggage. ‘Listen,’ he said, setting his hand on her sleeve, ‘I want to make it easier for both of us.’
She eyed him suspiciously. ‘In what way?’
‘You asked me about standing in the road with my sword and I have been thinking about it ever since. I have been defending what in truth was a dishonour from the start. My own attorney knows this is a lost cause and although he has not said so, I know he thinks that attending the hearing in Avignon is a waste of his time. It will have to go forward to a judgement and a conclusion, but I will not encourage the fight. I shall tell him I have no interest in continuing with the marriage and I expect him to concede so that I may wed elsewhere.’
Jeanette stared at him. ‘Truly?’
‘Truly. Let it be finished.’
Jeanette’s heart danced that he was finally ready to give in, but she was angry too. What a shame it could not have been long ago.
His smile was humourless. ‘After the trials of recent years, I am ready to dwell at court and serve as a bachelor for a while.’
‘Then I wish you well,’ she said, and strove to remain neutral. ‘And I hope only good things for you.’ She sat back on her heels. ‘We were both put in an impossible situation. Let us part in mutual courtesy whatever has gone before, and with dignity, so that we may find it possible to speak with each other at court in times to come.’
