John gazed at her with an open mouth, but eventually rallied. ‘William has said little to me,’ he said. ‘He once asked me to intercede with you on his behalf to ask you to look more favourably upon him, but changed his mind when I did not understand what he meant. Of late, we have not spoken.’
‘William doesn’t want this marriage either, but he is glued to his mother and grandmother and the whole business of saving face. It doesn’t matter what I want because no one listens whether I whisper or scream. We would not be taking it to the Pope unless there was another way.’
‘Mama says you are foolish and that you have no care for your family.’
‘Is that what you think?’
He rubbed the back of his neck, which had reddened. ‘No, of course it isn’t, and I do support you, but in taking up this fight you have put yourself first and your family second – the same with Thomas Holland. He is not just risking himself. He could have married a fine heiress with Raoul de Brienne’s ransom money, but instead he is using it to further this . . . this scandalous court case.’
Jeanette tightened her folded arms, wanting to slap him. Despite his remark about supporting her, he was plainly ambivalent. ‘The only scandal is that we have to go to these lengths to fight our case, when we are husband and wife,’ she said. ‘Edward has put his weight behind us. He believes we are telling the truth.’
‘Well, that is because he is sweet on you,’ John said.
Jeanette shook her head vigorously. ‘He is my friend, has been since we were children, and he has a mistress and a baby.’
‘And he must marry like all of us in the family interest,’ John said pointedly. ‘But the way he looks at you, he would be happy to be more than a friend if he could.’
‘Don’t be foolish!’ Jeanette knew she was blushing. ‘It is because he knows I am being treated unjustly.’
‘His mistress looks just like you – in some lights you could be mistaken for sisters.’
She waved her hand in denial. ‘I am done with this,’ she said crossly. ‘You either believe me or you don’t.’
‘Oh, I believe you, and I will do what I can to help you. But I confess that I am envious.’
‘Envious?’ She was astonished. ‘Why would you be envious of me?’
‘That you have chosen to fight to the detriment of all else including your duty to your family. I cannot do that because, like Edward and William, I am bound by expectations – I cannot refuse.’
‘Do you mean to say you are already tied?’ she demanded. ‘Has mother arranged a marriage for you too?’
He looked down and scuffed his toe on the floorboards. ‘Not so much our mother as the King and Queen. That is why I have been given my lands early, to make me a worthy consort. But Uncle Thomas says it is a fine match and approves. I am to wed the Queen’s niece, Isabella of Juliers. We are of an age and they think we shall be well suited.’ He looked rueful. ‘Women, when they gather together in their sewing groups to gossip, arrange marriages for their relatives like stitching secret patterns on their embroideries. I envy you because you have chosen to sew your own colours and to walk away from it all, even at a great cost to yourself and others. It is a brave thing to do among many less positive reasons, and I admire that courage to throw away the good and the steady with the bad as if all of it is chaff in thewind compared to your own desires. Some of us cannot loosen our shackles and do that.’
Jeanette gazed at him, absorbing two things at once – that he was going to be married, and that he was bitter concerning her own choice in dealing with her situation. ‘Do you wish to?’
He shrugged. ‘There are more advantages than disadvantages. If we take to each other, then well and good. If we do not, I still have my inheritance and may do as I please and take a mistress or two. I am sure we shall manage when it comes to begetting and raising heirs. I have to look at it like that, as do Edward, and William.’
‘And the women? What do they think?’
‘They make their own lives and their own female friends. There can be productivity and harmony in duty, even if there is not passion and love. Indeed, bonds of affection might grow if they are nurtured. That is what I hope for myself at the least. My bride gains from being the Queen’s niece and marrying the King’s cousin. I gain from having my inheritance early, a link with the Queen, and an escape from our mother.’
Jeanette regarded him dubiously. He still did not understand because he had a man’s perception of the world. At least he had offered his help, although she had no idea what he could do. She doubted his ability to silence their mother. Perhaps he could speak to people at court, and subtly endorse the idea of a union between herself and Thomas – perhaps speak to Thomas himself and organise a strategy.
She drew breath to speak, but John’s squire cleared his throat on the other side of the door. ‘Sire, my lady, your company is desired in the hall.’
Jeanette made a face.
‘We shall be there presently,’ John called out, and turned to her. ‘Come,’ he said, making his tone light to uplift the moment,but not entirely succeeding, ‘let us sit at the table, roll the dice and hope to win!’
‘I shall keep on throwing until I do win,’ Jeanette said grimly. ‘They use loaded dice, but then these days, so do I. For I have learned to play them at their own game.’
At the door, she laid her hand on John’s sleeve. ‘Do what you can for me, John, I beg you.’
He kissed her cheek. ‘I promise,’ he said, ‘but you should help yourself too. For all your talk of playing with loaded dice, it doesn’t look quite that way from where I am standing.’
28
Eltham Palace near London, May 1348
