‘As you can see, madam, I am well, and not greatly discommoded,’ Thomas replied, sweeping Philippa a deep bow. He could feel Katerine of Salisbury’s gimlet stare upon him. Jeanette sat in the background robed in plain colours, that horrible tight wimple framing her face.
‘I thank God for it, but still you have been sorely wounded,’ the Queen said.
‘Yes, madam, sadly I lost the sight of an eye, but I hope I have gained wisdom and experience in exchange.’ He smiled ruefully. ‘I assure you I can still tourney and compete with any knight in the land.’
‘I do not doubt it,’ Philippa answered with compassion, and Thomas realised that to be taken seriously again he would have to prove himself beyond words. The awareness was unpleasant, but further whetted his determination.
‘I understand you and the King are to be congratulated on the birth of a new prince.’
Philippa’s face lit up with a smile. She signalled, and the new addition to the royal family, wrapped in swaddling, was presented by his nurse. ‘This is Edmund,’ she said. ‘Born almost three weeks ago.’
Thomas looked dutifully at the parcelled child that resembled any other small baby to his masculine eye. He made suitably admiring remarks and enquired after the health of the others. Edward, the heir, was absent at Berkeley, but his brothers Lionel and John were summoned from their play, and Thomascommented on how much they had grown – busy infant boys of two and a half and fifteen months. Isabelle and Joan greeted him with smiles and silent but curious regard for his eye patch.
When it was time to take his leave, the Queen gave him a green jewel for his hat from her famous trinket box and said she hoped to speak to him again later. Thomas thanked her with courteous enthusiasm and turned to go.
While he had been speaking with Philippa and engaging with the royal offspring, Jeanette had positioned herself near the door, and the flash of her gaze as she lifted it to his opened up a cavern of memories and longing within him – indelible and visceral. He wanted to seize her in his arms and ride off with her, away from all this falsehood and incarceration. The irony was that he had every right to do so, yet was unable to act.
He drew a deep breath and strode from the room before he betrayed either of them, and, returning to his tent, slumped on his camp stool and groaned.
Otto shouldered through the tent flaps and looked at him. ‘Where did you go last night?’
Thomas raised his head. ‘I slept under the stars in no man’s land. Just me and my horse and my ghosts and God.’
‘And did all of you come to a decision?’ Otto went to the wine jug.
‘Not immediately, but yes, we did.’
‘And?’
Thomas fingered the green hat jewel, wondering how much it was worth if he sold it. ‘I still love her. I still want her with all my being, and she is my lawful wife. She married William Montagu under coercion, believing me dead. Yet I cannot claim her because we are in the same quandary as before. No one will believe us if we speak, and everyone except me and Jeanette is delighted with a match that unites their interests. I am just a damaged household knight with a traitor for a father.’
‘That sounds rather like you have decided to give up,’ Otto said.
Thomas shook his head. ‘I considered it, but I think of Jeanette and know I cannot. I have to find the funds to challenge the match and employ an attorney to speak for me. I shall discuss the matter with John de Warenne – he has long acquaintance with such dealings and will advise me well.’
Otto raised his cup. ‘De Warenne has not had much success though, has he? He’s still married despite decades of trying to obtain an annulment. I hold out little hope that our sister will ever stand at the church door with him.’
‘Even so, he has the experience to advise me.’
Otto conceded the point with a shrug. ‘Will you make it public knowledge?’
‘It would be pointless. I need to be on solid ground with the funds to carry it through the Church courts if I am to stand any chance of success. If I do it now, I will be dismissed out of hand, endanger my own life and destroy my family’s reputation. That is why I need to speak to de Warenne. He will not steer me false.’ He grimaced in frustration. ‘I must bide my time, and it is beyond hard when I want it to be now.’
‘You would not consider giving her up?’ Otto ventured, stepping into the lion’s den. ‘Would it not be better for all concerned?’
‘No,’ Thomas said vehemently. ‘We made our vows before God. I cannot make that go away. Jeanette was coerced into this match by her family, and she does not wish to remain wed to William Montagu. It is a matter of sacred vows and honour as well as love. I thought about it all of last night and I am still thinking now, but I still come to the same conclusion. I cannot and will not give her up.’
Otto grunted. ‘I am glad I am a younger son and a simple man. I earn a wage, I tumble a woman for a coin and put no fetters on myself.’
‘There is certainly wisdom in that approach,’ Thomas said with weary amusement.
Otto pressed a light hand on Thomas’s shoulder. ‘I won’t say all will be well – I am not sure it can be – but I will pray for the best outcome, and you have my loyalty whatever happens.’
‘Thank you,’ Thomas said, deeply touched and even a little guilty. ‘I owe you more than I can ever repay.’
‘Call it quits,’ Otto said with a grin. ‘I will remind you next time I need to pay my gambling debts.’
18
