She drank, and returned him the cup. ‘Neither would I, and I have wondered if it is all there is. Is that what binds men and women and fires up priests to write of damnation, and poets of pleasure? If so, I am baffled. I do not know why the Queen smiles when the King has visited her bed. Why does she sleep so long and then stretch like a cat in the morning?’
He turned his head away for a moment. Studying his lean profile, the curl of his hair around his ear, her heart flooded with a raw, painful emotion. If this was love, it was bloody.
‘Jeanette,’ he said, and shook his head, clearly at a loss.
‘I want you to show me,’ she said. ‘I want to be with you until I can no longer be with you; even if it is only for an hour, it will be for the rest of my life.’
He took a shuddering breath. ‘And if I say we should draw back now and not take a single step further for both our sakes?’
‘Then I shall answer that I have seen you joust and you did not hesitate to dare and that your aim was true. I shall say that what happened between us is only half begun and it cannot be finished when we have only run one course. Shall I call you a coward?’
His gaze brightened with indignation and sparked to match her own. ‘No man would say that to me and survive.’
‘But I am not a man, as well you have discovered. Thomas, you owe me this. You are in my debt and I intend to claim it, one way or another.’
In the silence that followed, Jeanette felt the tension pulling between them like wild horses straining at either end of a taut rope. She left the bed and came to put her arms around his neck as she had done before. ‘I mean it,’ she said. ‘With every part of my being. Now mean it with every part of yours – or else cry quarter and leave the field. Which is it to be? Nothing, or for ever?’
‘God help me,’ he muttered, and kissed her.
And when their kisses led them to his bed, it was different. She could feel the rapid thud of his heart and hear his shaking breath, but this time he held back. He removed her clothes and she helped him to remove his in a sensual dance until they were as naked as Adam and Eve. She pulled out her hair pins and let her hair tumble down in a skein of heavy gold, and gloried inhis soft oath of appreciation. He was at her mercy just as much as she was at his. Even if this was wrong, she had never felt a moment so right, so whole. If they were to joust, then she would meet him full tilt in the lists.
She arched against him, and this time when he entered her it was a smooth glide. He moved against her with taut control and she saw the tension in his throat and jaw and the effort he was making to rein himself in. Filled with power, she rested her hands on his buttocks to feel the movement and watched over her shoulder, head raised to see and to remember.
His movements became more ragged and she strained against him, pulling him closer still, and suddenly she was caught up in a wild surge of delicious sensation that made her cry aloud. He gave a final thrust, and with a sob, hastily withdrew himself and spilled against her thigh, before collapsing, gasping her name into her shoulder.
She lay for a moment, one arm bent across her eyes, and then slowly lowered it and smiled. She reached out and pushed her fingers through his raven-wing hair. ‘Now I understand a little more,’ she said, and licked her lips, still tasting his kisses, savouring the experience.
He gave a shaken laugh. ‘It was a close-run thing. I could not have lasted much longer.’
When he had recovered a little, he left the bed and fetched a cloth to wipe them both. She shivered, for the early spring afternoon was cold. He gestured for her to get into bed, then poured some more wine and joined her, pulling up the coverlet. ‘Only for a moment, to get warm,’ he said. ‘If they find you gone, there will be hell to pay.’
She wanted to toss her head and say she did not care, but Thomas would suffer the consequences too, as would Hawise. ‘My maid is waiting for me at the mews,’ she said. ‘I cannot stay long anyway.’
They drank the wine, sharing the cup. She playfully dripped some on to his chest and then licked it off on the tip of her tongue. He reciprocated, and she shivered; the feel of him tracing lazy patterns on her skin was delectable, and she turned to him when the wine was finished and they indulged in a second bout, where once again he withdrew at the final moment.
Afterwards, he helped her to dress and tidy her hair, his touch delicate. ‘I shall escort you and your maid back to the hall,’ he said, sweeping on his own cloak. ‘There shall be no questions.’
When they left his lodgings, the sky was gilded with the flame colours of sunset, and arriving at the mews they found Hawise hopping from foot to foot in agitation.
‘I am in time,’ Jeanette said as they exchanged cloaks. ‘I told you I would be back, and Messire Holland will escort us.’
‘It is my duty and my pleasure,’ he said. He and Jeanette exchanged swift, conspiratorial glances and hidden smiles.
Their return was smooth. The guards saluted Thomas and the women without a second look, for they were accustomed to Jeanette’s visits to the mews, and Thomas was a commander, they saw nothing untoward.
On the threshold, bidding farewell, Jeanette turned to him. ‘I think I need to ride out with Frederick, to further his training,’ she said. ‘Shall I see you on the morrow?’
‘Do you feel fit to ride, mistress?’ he replied with a gleam in his eyes.
‘Just as far as I desire,’ she answered with a mischievous smile and a tilt of her chin. ‘Is that not what you told me?’
9
Monastery of St Bavo, Ghent, April 1340
Jeanette lay back on her cloak on the grassy bank starred with yellow celandine and early sunbursts of dandelion. April was returning warmth to the land and clothing the trees in delicate new leaves of spring green. A scent of damp grass fragranced the air as the two horses grazed, bridles jingling, and a busy clamour of birdsong marked the urgency of the season. Her own emotions were brimming with a blend of happiness, effervescent excitement, and relish at kicking over the traces and behaving as though she had all the freedom in the world to do as she desired – and the rest she chose to bury.
She and Thomas had met many times over the past few weeks, not just to take carnal pleasure in each other’s bodies, but to talk and banter and be together. Sometimes she would sneak away to his chamber, disguised in her maid’s dark cloak and hood, and the clandestine escapade was an intoxication in itself. They were careful to avoid discovery, but there was still a piquant thrill in knowing they might be caught.
